A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had sex with my ex boyfriend in August cut off ties right after. Took time to myself and in October began seeing someone. October 13, I had 4 days of heavy cramping and then a heavy period for couple days. Right after that, the new guy I was seeing and I finally had sex and we are together and truly happy and in love. 2 months later in November, I began to feel nautilus, breast tender and missed my period. I took a test and found out I was pregnant. :). I was so happy about and and knew it was my new boyfriend’s without question. When I had my doctor appointment for the ultrasound 3 weeks later, I was measured at 16 weeks, which would put me at conception back in August before my boyfriend. My doctor says that sometimes these dates can be misleading. I feel confused as to what is the accuracy. Also, my new boyfriend is so excited and I am truly happy. My lex boyfriend had become abusive and a drug attic and that’s why I broke free. I feel a little tricked by the universe and also feel this baby is a gift from the universe. Truthfully whatever the results are I would never divulge the baby to my ex boyfriend, as to protect my baby from him. So, what to do. I want to do the honorable thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2020): Don't worry, sweetheart. If you had a period with a heavy-flow between the two men, the baby belongs to the last man you had sex with.
You have to put that ex out of your mind. He's still monopolizing your thoughts and tainting your happiness. Let him go.
Be honest with your current boyfriend, and tell him what you've told us. Don't be selfish, assuming telling him the truth is going to cause a problem. If it does, then better now than later!!! It will surely cause a problem down the road; if you suddenly hit the man with the surprise that the baby isn't his. If he had a single working brain cell, he'd make sure anyway!
You can take a DNA test through amniocenteses, and determine without any shadow of a doubt who the baby's daddy is. Don't be like one of those horrid guests on that outrageous Maury Povich show; where they hold some guy prisoner thinking he's the father of her baby, only to discover he isn't. In most cases, those females knew it all along; they picked the one they wished it was!!!
You took a risk having sex without protection with a drug addict, now you decide to worry???
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2020): Just to lighten your heavy load let me tell you that they go back 4weeks from your last period.We say pregnancy lasts for 9 months!But that's not strictly true either because full term is considered at 40 weeks which is clearly about ten months.We have flexibility to account for shorter 28 day months.Confused yet?I think the baby is your new boyfriends baby.If you had heavy bleeding and you'd had even a small foetus in the womb then you would have had a very early miscarriage.Because pregnancy is fragile for the first twelve weeks or term as they like to call it.Your unexpected surprise of a very small baby at this stage is presumably the result of your passion with your new boyfriend and you can ease your mind a bit because constant anxiety is not a healthy state to be in.Be happy for both of you.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (20 December 2020):
 Well done for making a stand and having the strenth to be your abusive drug addict ex.
The math does steer toward your ex being the baby's father which is going to present some difficulties if you don't step up and be honest.
I think if your as happy in love as you say you are with your new partner then i think that honesty is the best policy here and you need to tell him everything and just let the chips fall where they may.
It would be totally wrong if you never said anything and let your new partner think it was his. What if on the day of the birth the baby looked just like your ex?.
find a good time and just tell him, you will feel like its a huge burden lifted from your shoulders if you do, and you will be glad your stepped up and did the right thing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2020): I second Honeypie but just to add you didn't take a lot of time to yourself and that sadly plays a part somewhat in your dilemma. Hopefully you will tell your new partner and he will be a decent man in how he takes it and even better if he decides regardless he wants to be around. But this is a very new relationship and I personally don't think two months is enough time to really be 'in love' call me cynical, I am your age category and I think this is still a time of getting to know each other.
Regardless of that I hope it works out for you
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 December 2020):
 Does your new BF know that you were seeing someone in August?
Because there is little doubt as to who is the father. If you are 16 weeks = 4 months... so it can not be your NEW BF as you have only been with his 2 months. That is logic.
Also... You are in your 40? And you have unprotected sex with 2 men in a period of BARELY 2 months? Were you trying to get pregnant or just being careless?
The bleeding you mention from Oct. 13th might NOT have been a period. There can be bleeding for various reasons during a pregnancy. It's not uncommon.
I think you NEED to talk to your current partner. He think he DESERVES to know the truth. I would however NOT tell the ex. As he seems like a person that can't provide ANYHTING good for you or the child.
I think it would be cruel to pretend this is your new BF's child, when you know it's not realistically his.
Then you go from there.
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