A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so im just looking for some opinions on a recent event that happened. its long so i apologize in advance.so heres what happened. early last week my brother, myself, and my mom got into a heated argument about nothing that lead my brother into a rage. He has had numerous temper and anger management issues in the past. and my parents (divorced) have tried to get him help but he refuses so they dont push it too much. he isnt always bad but every once in awhile he has his moments. well things got rapidly out of control and he was shoving my mom and i around and i threatened to call the police but my mom told me not to so instead i called my boyfriend (of a year and some change) and went to my room to hide for the night. while talking to my boyfriend the fight continued and i was crying into the phone and felt horrible because i was telling my boyfriend that i was ashamed of my family. he was really worried and asked if he should come and pick me up or if he should tell his parents, but i begged him not to because i would be embarrassed and it would embarrass my mother as well. i didnt want them to worry too much or think less of my family. so my boyfriend and i were on the phone for quite sometime and he finally promised to not say anything. about 30 mins or so into the convo his mother came and said they needed to talk to him and he said he cant because he was talking to me, but they said you will have to call her back because this is serious. so he left to talk to them and called me back in ten min. he told me that his uncle had an accident and was in the hospital, but everything was fine. well just this past saturday we were driving and he said he had a confession to make. so i was like ok what? and he said that he lied to me when he said that that was all his parents said to him. well his uncle did have an accident but the real reason they needed to talk to him was because they had to ask him something. so he told me he walked out and his parents (who are by the way very very catholic and decently strict, but good parents) bluntly asked him "is she pregnant?" apparently his mom heard portions of the conversation on his end, such as "should i come and get you?" "are you ok?" "i really think i should tell my parents..." in addition to overhearing that she knew that i had a docters appointment the day before because i had been talking about how my arm was sore from my tetnus shot. she thought she had put two and two together and assumed that my boyfriend and i had gotten pregnant. of course my boyfriend immediately corrected his parents and explained my situation at home with my family and they were more than relieved. my boyfriend told me his mother hugged him and was crying and was clearly upset. they asked him not to tell me about their conversation but he felt he owed me the explanation because he slightly deceived me. (extra info: my brother is 18 and my bf and i are both 20)you could say i was more than shocked at this confession and string of events and im not exactly sure what to think. im confused at what any of this means. i could definitely use some advice or outsiders opinions about it all. i know my boyfriends parents really like me and approve 100% of our relationship but i am a little unsure of how to take the fact that they assumed i would be pregnant. that they would think such little of me, me and my boyfriend, and would think we would be so careless. and im unsure of what should be done about my situation with my out of control brother and my mom. i guess im just saying im a little lost. help please and sorry its soo long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): Hi, im sorry to hear about your problems. About your family, if your brother doesn't get the help that he needs then he would end up hurting either you or your mum. About your bf's family, don't read too much into it. Maybe they were just concerned about your'll,however it was very wrong for her to eavesdrop on your'lls confo. My boyfriend's family should get involved in every aspect of our relationship, until i asked him to tell them to stop as we are both adults and can make our own decisions. Don't worry about that little incident, atleast you know that your bf really loves you that he can't bear to lie you.
A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (2 July 2007):
I wouldn't worry too much about what his parents suspected. Parents worry so much more about us than we ever realise - until we have kids of our own and then we finally know how it feels. I bet they have worried unnecessarily about all sorts of things in their children's lives, but luckily managed to keep most of their fears quiet. I'm sure they think the world of you and would be horrified to know that you had been hurt by this. They can't help worrying, it's their job. They didn't want to believe it of you at but unfortunately heard just enough to fear the worst. Getting pregnant has such huge implications, that an accidental pregnancy is a big worry for all parents. I bet they are feeling really guilty that they ever thought this even for a moment. Don't be too harsh on them, it was parental instinct taking over because they love their son so much.
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