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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating my girlfriend for a few months but it seems impossible for me to climax during sex. In fact, I have never climaxed with anyone before. With my girl, I am extremely turned on (more than I have ever been before) but still something is stopping me. I told her what to do but it still doesn't work. I am sure that its a psychological problem where I am perhaps not allowing myself to relax, yet at the same time I feel very comfortable with my girl. Can this be solved at all in time? Can it ever be solved? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MarthaZ +, writes (27 February 2006):
 Take a deep breathe and relax. Making love to someone shouldn't all be about climaxing everytime. Why don't you try and take in turns to pleasure each other. YOUyour gf for one night, then the next night she can pleasure you. This doesn't necessarily involve intercourse either. By concentrating on what they like you get to know each other VERY well and after a few turns you might be so turned on and comfortable that things can lead to something very hot and steamy!I know, because it worked for us...!Good luck!
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (26 February 2006):
 not as rare a problem as you may think, in fact it is quite normal to go through periods of not being able to climax, sometimes it is that you are not fully relaxed like you are in an un-safe enviroment, parents likely to come in etc, or you are worried about getting your girl pregnant.
Is it maybe that you are inexperienced in the whole love making thing in which case a few books or dvd`s on the subject may help.
Lubrication and foreplay is very important, atmostphere is also important, if you are doing it in the back of a car then you may be a little uncomfortable and this may be putting you off.
Different possitons can help as well and experimenting is fun.
If you have never climaxed with a girl, do you come when masturbating and if so what thoughts do you have that get you to climax, maybe your partner could masturbate you or give you oral sex, then work up to full sex when she finds what turns you on the most.
Talk to her, she will be willing to try lots of things, and remember if you are not fully relaxed you will not climax, that will lead to further frustration and then worry that next time you try it you will fail again.
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