A
male
age
51-59,
*avid70
writes:Hello, I am at a stuck point in my relationship and not sure how I should handle it, I am fighting to save my marraige and family but are being walked over and feel verbally abused. We are liveing in separate rooms and have a 4 month (her idea) timeframe to reslove our issues - we communicate much better and I am making a huge effort to better myself and do what is right. Unfortunately at this time nothing I do is actually right and I constantly wear the brunt of anger and disappointment. I say I should move out for a while and I get hit with "we agreed on 4 months" do go. I say I want space she wants to cuddle on the cocuh watching TV. She will be upset at one situation I am in and later praise me for the same situation.She is over weight so I have offered to help her out, she wants a job so I have offered to restructure my time to support her, she is tired of the kids so I offer to help and for her to have a break ... each one comes with some feeling of resentment from her. She says she is angry it has taken me this long to realise things and she has no tolerance of me, she says she is entilted to this and I need to support her emotionly through it. I am trying but I am now feeling resentment and anger towards her, I am questioning whether to simply give up. What do I do, persevere and go through this tough spot ... how do I deal with it when I honestly feel it is unjust and she is simply looking for fights. It is making me angry and discouraged.Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): It sounds to me like you're just being a pushover. She's unhappy with her life. She's going to take it out on you and blame it on you as long as you let her. I think you need to respect yourself and stop putting up with anything unfair from her. Help her but don't be her doormat. If you don't respect yourself then she won't respect you. Eventually she will get interested in someone else that she does respect. That's when you get either left or cheated on.
A
female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (26 April 2011):
It does not sound like you are going to win this tug of war! For your own mental health, move on to someplace you do not have the hassle 24/7. You mentioned kids - yours, hers, yours together? I do not think you will begin to make a dent in your problems in the 4 month period - unless you get some professional counseling as a couple. Good luck to you whatever you decide.
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