A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So here's my problem (I'll try to be thorough and not too long):I've been dating this guy for about 5-months. Everything has been great. He has been everything that I could have hoped for. He is attentive and thoughtful-kind and caring. However, I think I made a boo boo.I try to be trusting and let him do his own thing. I realize that we have our own lives and can't spend every weekend together. So his friends came to California for a visit from the East Coast (where he is originally from). He was really excited to see them so of course I encouraged him to go. During his visit I didn't hear from him once. He usually calls and even said that he would--but nothing. So I shrugged it off and figured that he was caught in the moment and having a good time. So when Sunday comes around and still no word from him I tried to call him and text him and there was no answer. Finally late at night I get a text from him that he's "sorry" and he "loves" me and that he left his phone somewhere Friday night and just got it back from the store he accidentally left it at. I didn't get upset even though I was a little annoyed and just played it off cool.Well Monday comes around and I figured I would hear from him. But got nothing. It's unusual to not hear from him at all. But I just gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured that he was really tired since he didn't get home til probably 4am and had to be at work in the morning. Also, he did tell me that since he didn't have the phone all weekend it was about to die and he didn't get a chance to charge it. Tuesday rolls around and this is when I'm pretty sure I screwed things up. My text was sarcastic in the morning with "so you're just not talking to me anymore?" He apologized again and told me about the previous day. Well my insecurities got the better of me and I just started a huge argument about the situation. I should have just accepted his apology and moved on, but I was concerned and felt like it didn't matter to him that I was worried if he even made it home ok. So the problem now is that he is not initiating any sort of conversation with me. I've texted him once a day for 4 days asking if everything is ok. He responds with something like, "yes, I'm just sick, working my ass off, and hating life right now." The past two days I've backed off and haven't tried to text or call him. I'm just worried and angry with myself because I think that I totally caused him to become distant from me and that I'm just another stress in his life rather than a comfort so he doesn't even want to talk to me.Is it too soon for me to just assume things are over? I don't plan on trying to make contact with him again unless it's a while (like 2 wks longer). I want to make sure everything is ok and I want to know NOW, but I know if I just keep persuing it, it will only cause him to become more distant. On the other hand, I think it's somewhat immature of him and he should communicate with me and not just ignore me. What do you guys think?Just one more note: when we are together we have an amazing time. We get along great and are very affectionate. We have had previous arguments though, which mostly have been petty and becoming more frequent-but it's always during the week over the phone when we don't see each other. He lives 40 min away, so our only time together is usually just the weekends.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Dont worry about it seriously. Im in the same situation, only reversed. Constant communication can be what kills something too remeber.
Either that, or both you and me are with the wrong people..
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