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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Should I be worried about my boyfriend's female roommate?My boyfriend of 15 months has a new female roommate, she moved in about a week ago. He's had female roommates before and it has NEVER bothered me. BUT this girl is different. She's a flirt (just naturally, it seems), she's semi-attractive and she wears revealing clothing. I trust my boyfriend, and I know if a man wants to cheat, he can do it anywhere...he doesn't have to do it with a female roommate. But I'm just not comfortable with her being there. I know I have to talk to him about this, because it is eating me up inside, but I don't know how to talk to him without seeming completely insecure and unreasonable. And I don't even know what can be done at this point.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 Tell me again why you're not the room mate in this situation and she is?......You are right, if a guy is the type who's going to cheat he will. On the other hand, even the most faithful guy can be overwhelmed with the temptation when it's knocking on his door. You should talk to him, but it probably isn't going to change how you feel, especially since it'll bug you to have to spell out the boundaries. Think seriously about a new living arrangement in which you can be included. Or better yet, isn't it about time for you and him to move in together and be the roommate for each other?.....Just a thought. Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): Coming from a woman who lives with 3 males all in relationships I can understand your doubts. I live with these three guys because of school I dunno what your BF is doing living with a girl but maybe its simmiler to my reason. Anyway, I'm affraid that I might be making the girlfriends uncomfortable so i dont really talk to the guys very much. If this girl felt the same she would probably do just that. I dont isolate myself but I dont go and hang out with any of them alone. My advise is to make friends with her. When the guys GFs talk to me it makes me feel better because i can show them im not a threat. If she continues to be flirty and stff then maybe you can say something to her and also say something to your bf.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): Well, maybe befriend this girl? It's not guarantee that they wont cheat but at least if you become friends and hang out with her, she may find herself loyal to you, and you will feel less nervous about the fact that she lives with your bf.
I once lived in a house with four single girls and one guy who was in a relationship. I knew his girlfriend wasn't thrilled with the idea, and didn't like us at first, but we ended up becoming really good friends with her and now we meet up all the time...it's not quite the same thing but the only other thing you can really do is kick up a big fuss and then you will look jealous and insecure...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): I don't blame you, I wouldn't like my boyfriend having a female roommate. Did he talk to you prior to making these living arrangements? If he values you & the relationship you two share, he should of taken your feelings into consideration. How would he feel if you had a male roommate?
Don't let it eat you up, sit down & tell him what you are feeling. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): "Should I be worried about my boyfriend's female roommate?"Not any more than you should have been worried about your boyfriend's previous female "roommates." "I know if a man wants to cheat, he can do it anywhere...he doesn't have to do it with a female roommate."True, but cheating with a female "roommate" is a lot more convenient and easier to cover up with false explanations. "And I don't even know what can be done at this point."Nothing. You should have drawn the line at the first female "roommate." Very arbitrary and judgemental to put the onus on this particular "roommate" due to her looks and manner of dress, does not imply she is any more prone to lure your boyfriend into infidelity than previous female "roommmates," whether or not boyfriend cheats or not is entirely his inclination and his choice. She wouldn't be the one getting out of bed with you to get into bed with someone else, he would.
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