A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, my feelings are like a ball of yarn and I don't know what to do...I have been living with the father of my two children for over a decade,but we are not married. I met him when I was very young around of 18 years of age, and he was twice older than me and married.I got pregnant of him and I went to live with him.At that time I think I was very immature (perhaps I am still )and I don't know... he was more like a friend and it happened so quick that I think I was not in love with him...,so we have shared our lives, and with our children,but everyone says that he does not treat me like I should be treated... so anyway, he is a good father,but he is not a good husband ,he's not bad ,but he does not take me to places or say sweet things or gives me presents and things like that...he's very cold in that aspect...In our bed everything is almost perfect except that he barely says a word and kisses me . About a year ago we had a physical fight,but nothing very serious,but after that there was another ,but this time only verbal,so I was very sad and it happened that days after that I met a guy ( a little bit older than him and married too) and we stared a friendship,because he was somehow in the same situation (he said that he had been neglected for years) and I told him about it,and after that we have a very close relationship (we are lovers) and I love him very much... He has been the sweetest man a have known and I'm in love with him very much... I know that it's very wrong and that is why I have thought about stop seeing him ,but I can't ...it hurts so much just by thinking about it. I need him ,because I'm a romantic person and he fills me up with all that; he is the opposite of my other man (my lover kisses me a lot). On the other hand I have discovered that I do have feeling for the father of my children. I have felt it when he has been out of the house for days.I'm very confused ... What should I do?
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (21 September 2010):
 *sigh* Why don't you try being single for a while and quit running from married man to married man? You do not need to replay your decade of not being loved, so don't do it. What you do need is some clear thinking and common sense. What will you and your children do when your boyfriend finds out you have been cheating on him? Are you prepared to support yourself and them? Is your lover prepared to handle you and your children? What will you do if he doesn't leave his wife, or if his wife forces him to leave you?
Romance is one thing. Living a life is another.
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