A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i am a 27 year old female, i have been married for 6 months to my husband. When we first got married everything was fine and dandy , he treated me like gold and was romantic, now after just 2 months after the wedding he changes. stops being affectinate and romantic, i always thought my husband was my soul mate until i met my co worker who i completly fell in love with, he gives me everything i need, and yes i have had sex with him many of times. Everyone at my work found out about us, and the worst happened. my husbad found out. He wants to leave me because he says he can never look at me the same or trust me , i dont blame him. now this other guy has made promises to be with me and love me forever, but i am confused do i fight for my husband and try and make our marriage work? i feel like the other man is my soulmate , but i already made a commitment to my husban which i broke! i am sure i can convince my husband to stay, but the marrige would be so different, he would always hang it over my head and never trust me again. should i just let my husband leave me, and take time to my self? how fast do i jump into this realtionship with my lover? both men are amazing . my husban offers me secruity and balance in my life but my lover gives me the passion and desire that i want so badly. what do i do ?
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co-worker, fell in love, soulmate, wedding Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Ish  +, writes (4 April 2010):
Having read your statements, the one thing that stands out glaringly is that you don't mention anything about being sorry or regretful for the hurt and pain you caused your husband.
If your husband takes you back then you will need to change to a different work place, and sever all ties with the co worker. In order to rebuild your marriage, you will have to work 1000% harder than you did before, and that may still not be enough to build the trust back for a long long time. Judging from what you wrote, if you did get back with your husband, you would probably be unfaithful when the next "mysterious passionate guy arrives"
If you go with your co worker, you should bear in mind that what goes around comes around.. (and if you had children or made new friends together, it wouldn't look too good on you for them to know that you hooked up whilst married to someone.). I figure if you can't tell the true whole story of the circumstances of how you ended up with someone without feeling ashamed, then its not a good sign.
You may have lost the both of them. However, in future, you need to understand that if you are with someone, how can you expect them to feel passionate and desire for you when you so easily wander ?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2010): I have been married nearly 4 years, and I know how you feel. I think you were too young to be married in the first place, and it is difficult when the person you fell in love with changes....you fell in love with an attentive man who swept you off your feet, not someone who ignored you. I found myself in the arms of another man because I felt so starved for attention. My husband isn't a bad guy...I am just not happy with him any longer. Do some soul searching and spend some time on your own...you'll figure it out. If you decide to split from you husband do it for yourself and to find happiness, not because you think the grass might be greener on the other side. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Dump them both.. you don't love either man, and I doubt you'll be faithful to your lover.
Your young, don't tie yourself down right now. You need freedom, your not ready to be a wife.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
Just leave both. You weren't ready for marriage if at six months you had an affair. I understand that you may have felt lonely. But really, that's not a reason within months to just have an affair. Your co worker us just there for the sex. I think you should just end it with both and focus on your own life. You should never have got married.
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