A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had and on and off relationship for about 5 years. It started when we were quite young, so it was nothing too serious and neither were our arguments. But as it went on, just him breaking up with me and getting back with me when he felt like it. i just got sick of him, like he was taking my being there for him for granted. so i just said thats that and i haven't let myself become too emotionally envolved with him since. But i was still there for him and he was still there for me. He was the only person i could talk to, and relate to. and the same applied for him.... Well, he got into a knew relationship which made me insecure about our relationship as friends. and his girlfriend absolutely hated me. So as their relationship went on and on we drifted apart more and more. But he still kept telling me he loved me, and he'd get back with me if i wanted him to. But i couldn't trust him. So although i've never experienced any feeling like i feel for him, we stuck with friends, but nowhere near as close as we used to be. So eventually i moved on because i was sick of relying on him to be there when he wasn't..so i found this guy. who seemed to really care about me. a month passed, and we were okay as friends, he told me he was willing to take it slow because he knew all about my past relationship. so after three months of knowing eachother, i'd got really into him, but i was scared of getting hurt and kept pulling back. He was quite good friends with another of my friends. and i got really insecure about him liking her. although he told me she was too infantile for him and was always slagging her off. but in the end he decided he'd rather be with her my so-called 'best friend'. to start with i was unusually cool with it, because i figured if we could still be friends, everything would be cool, because all i needed was for him to still be there for me. but he just bailed on me and decided he didn't want anything to do with me. and now his new girlfriend doesn't understand what my problem is.. is it clear or am i just being stupid about the whole thing? i just feel so alone in this..
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male
reader, Who  +, writes (24 April 2009):
 “ i just feel so alone in this..”Everyone starts out naive. The process you have been and are going through is how everyone loses their naivety. Plus these relationships and friendships you are talking about? They are with teen age boys, who by definition are immature and don’t know what they want. In a few years they grow out of it, and you will find one that will make you forgot all the bad feeling left over from your first few tries at this whole boy-girl thing.Just don’t fall into the trap of trying to date older men now. Older men who date 16-17 year old girls do so to exploit them. You don’t like that you “always seem to make myself to vulnerable to guys”? That’s nothing compared what you won’t like making yourself vulnerable to older men.Best of luck and you won’t have long to wait, I’m sure.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): im in the same position.
and all i can say is..dont give them the satisfaction.
cos he'll soon come running back.
Honest!!
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