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female
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*undybabe
writes: ive been in a relationship for just over 5 years now but its coming to an end as im too controlling if my partner wants to go out with his mates or go up to the pub with his mates i always have an issue with it, so i tell him hes not allowed to and he'll either give in and not go and we'll have an argument or he'll have an argument and he'll take off and go anyways then i'll threaten to break up we are on a break from eachother at the mo as i called it off as i was getting too frustraited controlling him and thought it would be easier if we broke up, its only been one day but i do want to stop this controlling and anger that follows it but i dont know how as this isn't the only relationship that ive done it in!!
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female
reader, Italiandiva214 +, writes (6 January 2006):
 Well, u sound all too familiar to me! I do the exact same thing. I was never like that but I was in a 7 year relationship and got cheated on so I think I just constantly have that fear. U need to be able to trust him or it will never work because ur'e gonna drive both u and him crazy. Let him go out but if it comes to the point where he's choosing his friends over you and makes it a habit to go out, then say something. I know I would! :0)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006): Girl if you don't stop you will push him away and he might have a change of heart. Every one needs to go out wouldn't you rather him go out loving you then go out pissed off at you? When he goes out go out too get your mind off of him being out. the more you act like his mother the more you will push him away just try and catch yoour self before you start on him. Threatening him with not being with him will eventually get old so try to do other things to over come it if your afraid he is gonna cheat keeping him in is not the answer he will do it even if you have a tight leash on him Maybe you need to relize you maybe a little insecure with yourself there for you don't trust him I don't know that's what it sounds like but good luck!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006): It sounds like you are a girl who is unable to trust. When someone like yourself is that controlling and angry, you are filled with fear. By controlling and acting out in anger at your bf, your fears are being kept at bay and you aren't dealing with them. This is not healthy, hun. Sadly, this behavior is harming your relationship and if you don't deal with it-it will continue to haunt you in the future. Sit down with your bf and calmly explain to him, directly about your fears and concerns. From there ask him if he'll agree to go to couple counselling sessions with you. You both need to sit down with a good counselor and find out how he and you can work together as a couple to help you work out these 'issues of trust. You both can have a loving, honest, trusting, committed relationship but it will take some work and you need to get good, solid support and advice from this counsellor on how to deal with your fears. I wish you well in this...take care, hun and good luck.
Hugs Irish
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