A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, my problem is, I just graduated from high school and this is my last summer before college. I had a fall out with my used-to-be closest friend, so I've been pretty lonely. I do have other friends to hang out with, but it's come to the point where I want more than casual friends. I'm nearly 18, and I've never had a boyfriend. I'm just not an interesting person. At school I was always the nerd that was really nice and people were nice to me but that was it. Guys only talked to me to ask for a pencil or help on homework. I'm really bad at talking to guys as it is anyways. I just get nervous and feel like I can't be myself because I'll bore them to death. Since January, I got a job at a fast food restaurant and it actually helped me become more open and social because I was forced into an environment where there was no one I knew. Most of the people I've befriended are actually guys surprisingly. But no one seems to have any interest in me anyways besides being friends, but it's not like it matters because in 2 months I'll be 5 hours away from this town at college. I know it sounds like I'm expecting too much so soon, but all my life, I've grown up watching cheesy romance movies/TV shows, reading books with couples that would die for each other and it's all so farfetched but I find myself wishing I could experience even a slight resemblance to that. It's even harder when all through high school I was surrounded by friends who have been in a real relationship if not more than one. Even my one friend who's more anti-social than me and hates people, especially boys for that matter, SHE got a boyfriend. Unbelievable. (although this boy happened to be good friends with her for some years).I'm just tired of waiting for my turn. I want to know what it feels like to find someone who actually has an interest in who you are and wants to spend time with you. Someone to talk to when I'm unhappy or just hug when I'm feeling lonely. I know I'm going to college VERY soon, and I'm hoping to have my first real relationship there, but I almost feel like I'm building up my hopes too much. There's still the chance that my college life will end up like my high school life. I may not have the most confidence, but it's not like I don't try at all. I do go out and meet new people when my friends invite me places, the problem is I'll talk to guys if I'm around my friends because I feel secure being by someone I know. Someone to help if the conversation dwindles. It's pathetic but it's my nerves! There have been events where I was by myself and guys tried to talk to me, but I can't carry a conversation to save my life! It turns awkward and then they leave! I'm a very nice person and try my best to be kind to everyone I meet so as to make a good first impression because I hate the thought of someone disliking me when I know I'm a good person. (That's not to sound selfish; it's like being upset someone doesn't like you when you know you're never mean and there's nothing you did that could have come off as unlikeable...unless they have something against quiet people...)I don't even know what I'm trying to ask here. Maybe, is it normal for some people to take this long to find their first boyfriend? I know there's a good chance the first person I meet isn't going to be my last boyfriend, but I want there to at least be a first. Should I get my hopes up for college or no? Just any kind of dating advice would be nice. :)
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confidence, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (29 June 2012):
Love is work
relationships are work
the fairy tail doesn't exist.
Happily ever after is a sales pitch.
The good news, however, is that love is worth the effort, and it CAN enhance your happiness.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): Same here. I am almost 18 and never had a real boyfriend. Here is a link to a question from my old account:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-know-how-to-flirt.html
You can use it for tips on how to flirt and pick up guys. Good luck!
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