A
female
age
26-29,
*anababy
writes:Me again. Hey, so I talked to my friend on the phone the other night. She's my best friend and isn't so crazy about my bf anymore. She gave me some really good advice. He is on a camping trip and is still trying to remain distant from me. Everyone tells me that I need to let go of him, especially if I like someone else. Which I do. I know that if I wasn't 100% happy with my boyfriend, I wouldn't even consider being with other guys. I'm tired of the way my boyfriend tries to detatch from me every summer and puts in no effort to see me. He says that distance makes the heart grow fonder... but I think that's just an excuse not to see me for a long time. I'll be in grade 11 next year and I really need to keep my head clear and not go through all of the drama that we often go through. I feel like he isn't mature enough to handle a relationship seeing that I'm his first girlfriend and have been for 2 years now. I still don't know if I should end it. I know I'll be happier in the long run but it's hard to imagine my life without him. Really hard. I know I've done it before but we've made so many promises to each other after we got back together. Please help. Advice is great. Thanks :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): First off, don't make promises you can't keep. People think that making promises make other people feel better and sometimes it does, but they don't make me feel better. I tell people, don't promise me anything, because you might not be able to keep it. Promises raise expectations, and when those expectations are not met, disappointment comes in. So, to prevent future disappointments, don't make promises to each other. As far as promises go, don't make them when you are that young either. I made a promise to wait until marriage when I was that age. And I didn't when I got older. I was highly disappointed in myself. Also, maybe all the "drama that you go through" is the reason why he wants to avoid you during the summer. I don't think that either of you is mature enough at this stage. Regardless of whether you want to stay with him or not, you have to admit that yall would be growing together if you stayed together, as you have been so far. Here is the key to every relationship: Compromise. Instead of avoiding you the whole summer, maybe you could agree to give him space once in a while? Oh and don't let a promise hold you back from making important life decisions. :-)Hope this helps.
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