A
female
age
41-50,
*K8833
writes:I don't know what to do. I am so exhauseted from trying to deal with my husband. I just don't know if I even want to be married to him anymore. He never has anything nice to say to me. He always teases me but never praises me. I could take the teasing, I have a sense of humor, but when it's constant and negative it becomes too much. He aggrevates me and antagonizes me just to get a rise out of me because he finds it funny but then when I lose my temper he calls me a bitch. He antagonizes me so much that I can feel when I am about to lose control and when I try to leave the room he blocks me so that I can't get away. Then I blow up and say all these horrible things and end up hating myself for it. He's angry, racist, thinks women are stupid, and is so selfish. He is selfish in bed. He hasn't gone down on me in over a year and I go down on him everytime we have sex. He always has an orgasm and recently he seems to no longer care if I do. He hasn't told me I am pretty or smart or useful in about 10 months. I feel like the most worthless ugly human being ever and now I no longer want to even put any effort into myself because all previous efforts have go unnoticed. When I try to talk to him about my concerns he dismisses me as being silly or emotional. I am in counseling but he won't go because he thinks that therapy is rediculous, for the weak, and that psychology is a joke. I have gotten to the point where I dread him coming home, I want to be anywhere but with him. I don't even like it when he touches me. I have become snappy and irritable which is very unlike me, but I am so tired of putting up with his crap. I know I am being a bitch and is not at all who I am. I hate that he brings out the worst in me. There are days when I just want to give up and call it quits but I feel like I haven't given our marriage a fair shot. We've been married for 2 years together for 8. I also feel bad because he married me despite my chronic at times debitating health problems. I feel like he must be a decent guy if he would do that although in 8 years he has only been to 1 doctor appt with me and I go about 2 times a month. Plus I know no one else would want to be with me because I am a burden due to the health issues. Although some days being alone is sounding better than living with him. We do have good days together where we have fun and laugh but the bad days outnumber the good. Sex used to be good but that has gone downhill since we became engaged. I don't know what else I can do to save this marriage. Any tips or is it even worth saving?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): I always feel better when I have a vacation that I can look forward to on the calendar. You need to pick the date that he's coming home to an empty house, and start taking steps to make that happen. Start taking care of yourself for you (and your future man), get your finances in order, pay off debt, start saving money, get a handle on all the assets- specifically his... 401K, IRA.
Start looking for a place to live, start cluttering... saving boxes... packing closets... odds are good this jack ass will never notice.
Send him on his way to work & bye bye...
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 January 2010):
You cant save a marriage by yourself.
He has to want to save it too and from what you say it sounds like he just likes having a woman around to bully and give him sex.
You say it was nice of him to put up with your illness, but he could just have seen that as a weakness that he could exploit.
I think you need to leave and tell him that you will come back if he changes but he has to prove he's worth your time.
Good Luck!! xx
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