Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2015): Have you asked him why you haven't met any family members? You should.
I agree with the others-- his behavior smells!
If you don't want to break up with him maybe you should hire a PI to find out more about him. I know, they are expensive. So is your wasted time!
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (17 May 2015):
Trust me, the chances are he has someone else. His behaviour is typical of a married man who is cheating on his wife. Communicate, get to the root of it and if you cant then PLEASE for your own sake move on. You will regret wasting your time one day.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 May 2015):
 Of course, aprilh. Keep telling yourself this... and it will BECOME the truth....
Wake up!!!!
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (16 May 2015):
You shouldn't make excuses for him. Ideally you should talk to him and find out what is up.
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female
reader, aprilh +, writes (15 May 2015):
aprilh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys thank you so much for you're advice but seriously I don't think he has a girlfriend I think he is just afraid to commit to me because he loved his wife so much and he lost her so I think he's afraid something will happen to me and he doesn't want to go through that hurt again maybe I'm wrong but time will tell
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male
reader, Xearo +, writes (14 May 2015):
Sounds like a progressing pattern of the cold shoulder. I do not think anything better will happen any time soon, and there is a chance he is dating someone else. This relationship is only going backwards and you are wasting your time with him. I hope this helps you to make up your mind on what you need to do.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 May 2015):
 I think the whole story stinks (not you OP) but how he is treating you and the relationship.
I get that he wanted to make SURE he son was OK with him dating again, but.. how did he explain all these Fridays away? 7-8-9 (and up) kids are SMART, they know when something is going on.
And yes I DO think 2-3 year would be PLENTY of time for a child to UNDERSTAND that daddy isn't replacing mom, but is having a GF.
And then you have the whole.. WE used to have sex every Friday, but now he says we can't because we are not married... TO me that is NOT the real reason. HE IS seeing someone else, THAT is why the SEX has stopped - he is BEING faithful to HER. And I think it could also be a sort of "punishment for you" for asking about meeting his family.
Over all.... I'd let him go.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 May 2015):
His (new) wife.... or (new) current girlfriend ... is probably cramping the amount of time he has to spend with you.....
Good luck..
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (14 May 2015):
 This all sounds very suspicious to me. Why have you never met his parents? It sounds like he's just using you as his secret bit on the side while he has another life he doesn't want you to know about.
You deserve to be treated with respect and you deserve a proper boyfriend. That should be your motivation for dumping him because you can't have those things until you do.
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female
reader, deirdre +, writes (14 May 2015):
I reckon he may not be single in the sense that he may have another (official) girlfriend or partner. The fact that he has a specific day to come over says to me that he is living with a woman at the very least, and he probably makes some excuse to her like hes going to the gym or to play golf/meet friends, like a regular hobby.
My suggestion is you dump him, easier said than done I know. He is disrespecting you and wasting your time. You deserve a real relationship
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female
reader, aprilh +, writes (14 May 2015):
aprilh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTy so very confused we used to have sex on fridays(only) but a few weeks ago he told me that we should not have sex anymore because we are not married he really confuses me alot I don't really know how he feels about me he's a really hard man to understand. I always think that if he really cared about me he would spend more time with me and not keep me a secret
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 May 2015):
 I'm going to assume he only comes over on Friday and you have sex. IF not every week then regularly.
And you want him gone but you can't do it.
IF you have sex with him STOP having sex with him and see what happens.
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female
reader, aprilh +, writes (14 May 2015):
aprilh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey honeygirl yes I'm 100% sure his wife passed I've seen her obituary. There is just so much more going on like he only comes over on Fridays.He just got fired from his job and I work and most of the time only have Friday and Sunday off I'm not very good at this so hard for me to really get into detail but all and all I feel like I'm just a Friday(something to do) to him. My friends keep telling me to dump him but I just can't and I don't know why
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (14 May 2015):
 Bit odd that this has gone on for so long, are you sure he is telling you the truth about being a widower?
Just the fact that after 2 years you are no closer to meeting the family is a red flag.
You need to tell him how you feel and if there is no progress, then I suggest you move on with your life.
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