A
female
age
30-35,
*oX15
writes:I've been having, well depending on how you look at it, good or bad luck. Maybe good and bad. Either way, I'm confused. I had written earlier in the month about 4 guys. One was my ex, the other was a serious prospect, one was my actual bf, and the third a hookup buddy. Since then, my ex is just my best friend. The serious prospect, has all but fallen off the edge of the earth, which is disappointing because I thought out of all 4 he would stick. The third is still my bf, but we're sort of, in a weird situation. The fourth, continues to be my hookup buddy, but I find myself wanting more. I've always been more of a relationship kind of girl. I crave stability. Looking at my situation now, I definitely always have a guy in my life, but for how long? My ex is still in my life because he's reliable, he's always there. The second guy, told me he wasn't going to wait forever. I haven't talked to him in a few weeks so I don't know if my time is up, so to speak. My bf, he's in school, he's doing his own thing, but he still tells me he loves me everyday and we talk everyday. But he's not here. Were 7 hours apart. I have no idea what he's doing there, and he has no idea what I'm doing here. The hookup buddy, is like 20 minutes away, but I want more. I could see us as more. I want more than a one night stand. I need more fulfillment than a long distance relationship. I don't want to lose my bf, but I can't do this relationship. He's a good guy, I have real feelings for him, but I know that I want more. I want someone beside me, you know what i mean? The hookup guy is closer. But I don't know what he wants. I want more with him. I can see him as more than what he is. I want him to be more than what he is. I just don't know how to go about it. I feel like I can't talk to him about it, because we aren't much to each other but a hook up. I'm tired of being alone, is what I'm basically saying.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Hiya miss!Let me help break this down. You crave stability. If youre not much other than a hookup, cut guy number 4 out of your life because he doesnt help you reach your relationship goals. Since he doesnt help you reach your goals you can therefore say he will not provide you stability. Keeping an ex in your life, unless you have kids, can indicate you are not over him. Consult your feelings on that as it its important if you wish to continue things with your BF.Long distance relationships are real tough. Ive been in ONE. Those create trust and communication issues. two main ingredients for a good relationship. Therefore, it may be necessary to end your relationship there. The serious prospect sounds like a loser so thats done with. Id say unless you consider getting back with your ex, its time to find a committed guy (lol Im here but damn far away). I think I told you before to sort things out and analyze what you want. You want stability and a relationship, your decision is made and it doesnt seem like you need time to grieve/recover from any relationship. In my genuine opinion, avoid one night stands if youre looking for committment and stability. YOU will very very rarely find a guy who gives a crap about you (i e will emotionally attach) and over time this can create issues for you as its adverse to your relationship goals and intentions. Best to you :)
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