A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi.. First thing excuses for my English. I will try to explain myself the best I can.I been separated for one year and a half. We didnt divorced yet. I live alone and have my own/independent life so I started to meet people here and there.I decided made a trip by myself. In that trip I met this amazing guy...we had that fabulous connection..I felt that I am alive again. He is 13 years younger.. everything was soo pretty and nice between us. We didnt have sex the time that we met. I came back to my place and even if I was thinking about him..I didnt expect for anything else.But we start to call each other each day, skype..etc. Then I hurt my hand at work so I couldnt work at all, they gave me two weeks off. I decided to flight there as a surprise.I called him saying I was at the airport..but he didnt believe it. Then I gave him signs about the place and he knew I was there. He just said please wait for me and he showed up 30 min laters. He took me to his house and I met his mother and brother..they knew about me already.I spent an incredible time with him. He was working but while he was at work I was visiting his family and I went to different places. When he was off from work he came to pick me up and we always had fun,,went to movies, dinners, concerts, beach..walking..etc..I am feeling in love.But I am afraid. I never felt for a guy younger than me..they always were older..like my hb..I am believing in the love again. I think this can be possible.We can talk about anything..everything..we have a lot of fun. He has his temper and is jealous too.Nobody took care about me in that way never in my life,,nobody was worried about me like him..I am thinking to leave here and just go there and start a new life there with him. Is it possible with this gap age?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Finish the divorce first, that should be your primary priority.
I don't think the age gap is that huge, but I do think you need to slow down just a little.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Your English is FINE…. My fiancé is 13 years younger than I am and older than you are he is 39 to my 52…. My only concern for you with such a young man is if he wants children later on what will you two do?
IF the ONLY reason you are not doing this is his age I vote for doing it. I agree that ending the marriage (getting the divorce) is critical.
I’m not sure that I like that you just got on a plane and went to see this man without checking with him first… and the fact that he readily accepted it… sounds like both of you are a bit broken in the relationship department. If a man posted that a woman just flew into his home town and called from the airport to “come get me I’n here for two weeks without preplanning or notice’
I am betting lots of the aunts here would have said “be careful she sounds unbalanced” and I am sure if you had posted asking if you should just fly in and show up we would have advised against it. But it’s over and done and it worked out so it sounds like you two may be a good match… just be aware that over time people change and the match may slip a bit if one of you grows and matures… (you or him)
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A
female
reader, IamJess  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Gap age or no gap age, it doesn't matter about age, as long as your happy with the person.
I think when the divorce goes through and things, and you need to think about jobs over there and where your going to stay then think about leaving, but as you've described I wouldn't imagine you've been dating if not dating at all that long, and I think you really need to get to know the guys more, hang out a little more, see how you like where he lives, if you could see a future living there, and then decide, and talk about this with him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 You should go ahead with the divorce first. It's easier to do it where you are than when you are in a different city. Only move there if there are more jobs to be had over there, and you will be happy even if you are single there. You talked about anything, and everything, but what about his opinion of him and you together as a couple? Nobody cared about you in your life before, not even your ex husband? Hmmm. I am not sure how someone can care for you to that extent when you are long distance. It's easy to engage in sweet talk over skype. To commit to a person on a day to day basis is a different thing. Age can be a number only when you have common interests together and your life goals match. When you have to post here it means you haven't shared all your thoughts with him. There are too many questions yet for you to move in with him so soon.
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