A
female
age
36-40,
*aralots
writes:My Boyfriend is a senior in HS, while i'm only a sophomore. We're both virgins and kinda prude, which isn't a bad thing at all. He respects me so much and hes so comfortable with moving very very slow... he says he will never break up with me, but recently i haven't just had one night were we just cuddled. I mean we will be on the couch just hanging out and then the next minute well be making out and feeling eachother up. I'm afraid that i wont be able to get out of this phase. Its not him that starts it either... I'm always the one to start it. I don't only want to do this. I try to make plans to go out with him, but when we get back to my house, he just wants to cuddle but once i get him "going" i dont wanna stop making out with him. is this a bad thing? i feel like im only using him for pleasing me...i know we wont have sex anytime soon and i wont let him finger me, And then after the night is over and he goes home. He send me a etxt thats like "baby i had a lot of fun with you but although i like fooling around i like snuggling better." and then i feel like an idiot because he only wanted to cuddle. I really do love him. Hes my best friend, and all of my friends love him too. I really don't wanna lose him because i can't control myself... I don't want every night to turn into us just making out.what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): okay i had this probulm as well, and it's kinda a comunication thing if you really are really close. here's what i did (may not be thte SAME thing but it get's the point across) okay well i kinda FELT like i was obligated to do such things like make out with my bf even though i didn't want to i still felt like i had to and he'd be like, "i love it don't get me wrong but i feel like were moving to fast." and so i todl him that everytime you dont want me to cus i feel like i can't control myself always ask me is this what i want to do? or tell me yo uave prob or tell me no! or any line of things! and if he listenns then he'll do it and it workded great for me :D have a good day *hope i put it clear!! *
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): Also, sex isn't necessarily related to love. While yes, you enjoy the physical aspect, that doesn't mean you're only "using him for pleasing you". You probably do care about him and maybe even love him. So don't worry, it's not a bad thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): Look, honey, you have no problem. You're only a sophomore, which means you're like 15, 16... It's normal, this thing you're going through. Your hormones are all over the place! You're normal, it's totally natural... this is you starting to discover your sexual side. It's scary, and of course you have your own boundaries - which is good. But your personal boundaries don't mean that your body will stop producing hormones. Your boyfriend is indeed a good guy. I'm sure he'd love to go further and enjoys the physical side, but above all, he's respecful. You are one LUCKY girl!!! This guy really cares for you, because he truly respects you.
But ok, the thing is, because of your age, what you're going through is normal. It happens. It happened to me. You are in control of your actions, adn I'm sure you'll make the right choices. But ALWAYS try to be prepared, because trust me, as much as you have personal boundaries there are times when you don't think and just let go. So be prepared. But I think you're a very mature girl, with a wonderful respectful boyfriend, who knows who she is and what she wants. Congratulations! You don't have a problem, honey, it's just puberty.
Take care!
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