A
female
age
26-29,
*orrely
writes:soo I don't know what it is, but i just love making guys like me. not just as friends but as more than that and it's an issue because I have a boyfriend who I have been going out with for almost a year. I know I'm only 15 but whatever, it's still an issue b/c what I do is I find a guy and become really friendly with them and they start to like me as more than a friend, and I know it isn't fair to my boyfriend, but i just can't help it! This year it has happened with like 5 guys, all of whom I'm really good friends with. I don't just flirt alot, like i'm not super touchy and stuff, it's more like I become really good friends with them and they start to like me after that. i always feel bad b/c it's like i'm leading them on but i'm not b/c its not like im touchy or flirt w them alot..Am I alone in this love of when guys like you as more than a friend? And is it necessary that I change this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): It could be that you're just an attractive girl, and guys like you!
Everyone likes to know they're attractive to the opposite sex, who wouldnt like someone to fancy them? However since you have a boyfriend and dont seem like you have any intention of leaving him - you need to set boundaries for these guys. Let them know you have no feelings for them (aside from friendship) and maybe distance yourself for a bit until they are over it. Also try to avoid any inappropriate behaviour, maybe you could think "would i like it if a girl did this with my boyfriend?" If the answer is that you wouldnt like it, you're crossing a line and should stop.
Hope this helps :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Jus keep it casual!! Why do you wanna get extra close to guys?? U have a bf. Be close to him. Treat ur guy friends d way u wud treat ur girl pals. It will help u remember that u are not in any way leading them on. Ur young. Enjoy d phase. Jus make sure u do not do anything dat could ruin a good relationship and have u coming back to agony aunt with another problem :)
u can send me a personal msg if u need to have a confidential talk.
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A
female
reader, sorrely +, writes (19 December 2010):
sorrely is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim sorry, i didn't know what to call it besides flirting. they dont fall for me or whatever but you know what i mean. because i guess it is flirting in a way but not in the way people normally think of? i'm sorry if this isn't making any sense.
and do you think that i should try to really change this? i don't have a reputation b/c i dont like technically lead anyone on, but like i woulnd't know how to change it...
thanks for all your help..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Sounds like you're an attention seeker. I would think long and hard about your actions because you might get a reputation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Sounds to me like ur issue is not that u flirt but that u brag about how many guys you get to fall for u. Throughout you have written"i dont flirt much but they like me".
Girl identify your problem first.
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