A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my husband for 8 years. My son was 12 and my daughter was 8 when Mike came into our lives. He and my daughter have a great relationship however, my husband and son.. now 20 (in college, home for the summer) are always bucking horns and I'm caught in the middle. The main problem is that my husband won't allow my son to stay at our home when we're gone for the weekend. This decision is based on the fact that in the past, my son has borrowed certain items from him (flashlight and tool) that was lost or never returned, in addition, my husband feels that my son won't abide by our house rules of washing his hands before he gets food out of the fridge, locking the doors, keeping his feet off the couch, etc. I feel that since he is a good kid, no drugs or drinking, has a full time summer job, makes a car payment, pays his insurance and is a good, caring human being, he should be given the chance to prove himself. Every time he forgets to do something, my husband will tell me that he'll never let my son stay at the house alone. I feel that these are minor issues and while they are extremly important to my husband, I never want to stop having faith in my kids that they can be resonsible. My husband's own father was a sorry excuse for a father and my husband made his own way since he was 18. I am in the middle and can't find an appropriate answer for everyone. Any mediary thoughts or guidance would be appreciated.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 June 2009):
 First off you son is 20, so not a child any more. However he is staying at your house, so some simple ground rules should be in order.
I think your husband is trying to teach your son some basic common sense but he might be going around it in the wrong way.
I think you and your husband needs to find out what ground rules you can decide on for the kids to abide by. Then sit your son down and go over them. He is certainly old enough to have respect for your husbands and your things.
I think you also need to tell your husband that your kids are some of the most IMPORTANT people in your life and that he can not make exclusive "ruling" by himself when it comes to the children. You need to be considered and so does your opinion.
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