A
female
age
30-35,
*enw
writes:I'm 18. I need some advice ASAP so I hope you guys can help me out.k, so around 2 months ago, I saw my teacher exiting a public venue, holding hands with a woman who looked to be around the same age as her (late 20s). Okay, so I know it was childish of me, but in school, there were rumours of her being a lesbian and I was curious to see if this was true so I tailed them for around 5 minutes. Just as I was turning to go, I caught them kissing. No big deal to me. I am openly lesbian too, so if anything, I was thrilled for her. The real problem comes in 2 months later. It was a Friday and I was in the school gym, exercising. It was around 6 when I stopped and decided to pack up. It was also getting quite deserted and I didn't want to stay till late. I went into the women's locker room to take a shower, and just as I was getting out of the cubicle and changing into my clothes, my gym teacher walked in. I was literally naked from top to toe so my natural reaction was to scream. I think I screamed too loud or something and she freaked out because she ran out. Of course I grabbed the towel as fast as I could too. It was so awkward, I can't even describe it. As I was pulling on my clothes, I heard her call my name from outside and apologise. I shouted back that it was okay and went out once I finished changing. But when I did, she was gone. After that incident, things got very awkward between us. She couldn't even look me in the eye and always seemed to avoid me. Whenever she talks to a group of people, she seemed to be laughing a lot and enjoying herself. And then when I join the group, she'd very quickly end the conversation or excuse herself or something. It's like she's embarrassed. I am very upset over this because we used to have a great and healthy teacher-student relationship. She was my favourite teacher- the one teacher that I could actually talk to and joke around with. But now it's all ruined. And I don't know what to do! I never hinted or indicated to her that I was uncomfortable over that incident. In fact, I acted like nothing had ever happened. I don't know why she's acting like the whole world knew about the incident. I was hoping that she would just let it pass but it really seemed to me like she's letting it get to her. How do I talk to her about this issue? I really want our teacher-student relationship to return to what it was before. PS: I didn't tell anybody about this because I didn't want negative rumours to circulate around school and misunderstandings to arise. That could get my teacher in trouble and I don't want that because I think she didn't do anything wrong and that it was all just an accident. If anything, I'd say it was ME in the wrong for changing in the lockers area and not in one of the stalls. :/
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female
reader, Troi  +, writes (10 September 2011):
My advice is that you should just tell her straight up that you feel sad about the disappearance of your student-teacher friendship. I don't think you even need to mention the fact that she's lesbian and that you are too. Just talk to her after class or, if needs be and you REALLY want to keep it confidential, then talk after school when everyone's heading home. I think she probably feels guilty of walking in on you while you were dressing and I'm sure she feels like it was her fault. After all, it's hard to talk to someone, no matter what kind of relationship you're in, after you've seen them naked/dressing. I always feel guilty and awkward when I open the door and my brother's getting dressed- talk about embarrassing! You should reassure her that it was a simple accident and you would like to talk to her like you used to- like friends. If you feel uncomfortable being just the two of you then bring one of your friends along- one that you feel you can really trust so that they can be there to support you.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 September 2011):
 She wanted to keep this private and you sort of snooped. I believe you when you say you didn't tell anybody, but I can also understand her suspecting you. Whether you're lesbian or not doesn't change the fact that whatever she was doing at that time, that was her business only.
She's acting like the whole world knows because anyone in her situation would act like that. Some people would even be afraid of eventual blackmail.
I think you have to keep your distance and make sure you don't tell anyone. But, if someone else were to know about her real sexual alternative, you'd be the obvious suspect.
Such is life.
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