A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem, six months ago I got into a relationship with a guy I knew in highschool (20+ yrs ago), he's been married now for 20 yrs. He was in an open relationship with his wife, she knew he was seeing me. After a while I developed strong feelings for him and started to feel jealous. We both love each other so he left her and moved in with me. He was having trouble after a while with feelings of missing her, and after two months moved back with her. That was a month ago, now he says that he can't live without me and wants us to be together, just he and I so he is moving out and buying his own place. Not only do I care alot about him/love him, he also excites me ane we have alot of chemistry between us.My problem is that when we were broken up I started dating an old boyfriend that I dated for 3 months about 4 yrs ago. He is very sweet and kind and would do anything for me, the trouble is although I think he's kind of cute, I don't find him sexually attractive. So now I hsve the guy I wanted that wants ne back, supposedly permanently and mr. nice guy that would love to stay with me and make me his princess... it would be great to have the combination of both but I obviously only want one. I know there are other guys out there but i am sick of dating and really like both of these two. Who should I pick?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice :-)
So a quick update. I told the sweet guy that I just wanted to be friends. The reason is that I read recently that if you don't want to kiss him then you shouldn't be with him.
The other guy that I'm crazy about, bought a condo on my side of the city, so I'm going to give him a chance and see of he comes through like he says he will of being with me forever.... Hopefully my judgement is right this time!
Thanks so much for all the help!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): hey, i've recently been through the same dilemma and i suppose you could say i picked mr. nice guy. and i don't regret it, mainly because you know your secure something you won't have with the other guy because, of his wife! give your self some time to fall for this mr nice guy again and you'll start feeling more sexually attracted to him! (maybe abit of roleplay) ;) x good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): I so know what you are going through,I too have a problem with two men in my life.... It is doing my head in... but anyway.. you. go for the sweet guy.. maybe with the other guy if your not seeing him you mite get some chemistry for sweet guy ????? And hey unless he is buying a house a long way away from his wife ... tell him to forget it !
Not sure if this helps but its food for thought.
Good luck, you will make the right choice, do what your heart tells you to do xx
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A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 I would not get back with your ex (the one with the wife)
because first of all, he is still emotionally unavailable to you. One month will not change how he feels about his wife. She will always be there in his mind. Also, let's say he's over her, you guys will never have a normal relationship because he's been spoiled by an "open marraige". Meaning if you turn to be his wife number one, eventually he will get bored and want to meet and sleep with new woman. Wouldn't he want an open marraige with you too?
Your new guy seems like a rebound guy to get over the old guy. How is it that in one month you got a new man already?
Sexual attraction is very important in a relationship too.
I say stay with your guy now, give him a chance and if you don't feel it with him, then take some time alone before getting into a new relationship.
That's what I would do if I were in your shoes, but you don't have to take my advice. Good luck.
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