A
male
age
30-35,
*EAL GUY
writes:i'm beginning to stress a lot, like everytime i get my paycheck there's always something i have to pay n by the end of the week all my money is gone and i want to save but i can't....I work at this restaurant only on the weekends i get 325$ for the 3 days i work,,which is ok because i work all day from 9 am til 11:30 pm,,i live with both of my parents and my lil sis,,my dad is sick and he can't work ,,or that's what he says,,so my mom and i pay all the bills and the rent,,and is like i just work for that..at my young age i have 2 cars a job no girlfriend( at least not yet) and i'm a very responsible guy,,,but my dad don't really cares about nothing one of my cars has mechanical problems and i can drive it until it gets fixed,and i feel like they just depend on me to much and that my dad dosen't care about nothing,, EX: i'm always busy and he never checks the car to see if it's ok or it needs an oil change or anything, he dosen't do anything around the house all he do is eat and sleep..he don't know when bills come in or how much we have to pay,,he got diabetis, but he won't even take care of his self..he eats a lot of sweets and he don't even help my lil sis with her hw..last night my lil sis asked that she wanted some new shoes, because the ones that she has are old..i told her that i was going to buy her some on monday ..but my dad he dosen't even care about that,,my mom is always telling him to find a job , he can't work in the heat because he'll faint or something and he can't lift up heavy things, my mom cleans houses and she don't get paid a lot and she's always asking me for money for bills and for gas..my dad wakes up late everyday and he just easts breakfast and watches tv n goes back to sleep like he has no life and i'm getting very tired of it and so is my mom but he don't even try to change..now that is the end of the month i got to pay my phone bill and also i got to pay the mechanic that's fixin my car and the rent,,and also i got to buy my lil sis the shoes that i promised her,,like my whole paycheck is gone. and i feel like i'm just working to pay bills and to take care of the household..i need an advice on what to do..
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 September 2011):
 He has diabetes which if treated correctly and his lifestyle altered then it can be maintained...it doesn't affect his work life. Sounds as if he's too lazy to go out and get a job. Your father is not disabled or terminally ill to the point of where they will issue him social security early.
At 18-21, supporting your family is not your job. You should be worrying about school, going out with your friends, being a teenager!! Not trying to support your family because your dad believes he's too ill to get a job. He's NOT!!!
Have a family meeting, put your foot down. Tell your family it's not your responsibility to support them...it's your father's. Then proceed to give him applications to fill out so he can start looking for a job. If he doesn't care to look for one, then it's time for your mother to step up and make some serious decisions regarding her marriage. Also, get your father to the doctor so he can learn about properly treating his diabetes. Point out if he doesn't maintain it, he will eventually die.
If you try that and nothing changes, I would start saving your $ to get out of there. The responsibility doesn't have to reply upon you and it shouldn't.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): Get together with your mother and split the bills three ways. Tell your father what his share of the bills totals in a month and tell him that is what you need from him. Meanwhile, stop providing for him in regard to sweets, treats and other unnecessary items. Just encourage your mother to buy in the essentials and not waste money on none essentials for your father.
He sounds as if he is suffering from depression. Try and speak to him. Explain that he cant expect you both to support him for much longer and you will leave if he doesn't go to the doctor. He needs a diagnosis and welfare help if needs be. It is unrealistic of him to produce a family then go watch TV while you try and keep it together for him. You need to do some straight talking to him and help him out of his slump.
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