A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 15 and I have a porn problem.Im straight I believe I am, but I looked at gay porn once just to see how it goes and I got hooked to it.I belive thats why I have gay fantasies and stuff because I like girls but when I first hit puberty and started masterbating thats when I saw that gay add when i was looking at girls and clicked on it and have been hooked since. Someone told me on this site before gay porn is the most addicting out off all how can I control myself from looking at it how do I stop this cause thats why I believe I have gay thoughts that stuff pops up in my head. How can I control myself when I get horny so I don't run to it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): Try to stop watching it if it upsets you!
Society conditions us to grow up expecting to be straight. It can be quite traumatic at age 15 to find out that men make you horny. You're turned on, but terrified that 'oh my God, does this mean I'm what they call 'queer' or a 'faggot'?' The first thought that occurs is: I must fight these feelings. Sweetie, if you are gay, that's a losing battle.
You like girls - great! But if you find you're repeatedly drawn to gay porn and having gay fantasies, it's probably unlikely that you're 100% straight, maybe even 1% straight.
I tried so hard to not be gay. I'll never forget the onset of the gay fantasies at about 14-15 - a total inability to resist powerful waves of feverish lust when I'd see an attractive man, a tingling sensation of going totally soft internally (and hard elsewhere) mixed with a shameful sense of 'oh wow, this is so wrong, God please don't let me turn out to be a queer'.
When I got around to watching porn now and then at 16, I couldn't help identifying with the woman and lusting over the man. (I'd long since found out that I responded the same way to sexy scenes in 'normal' movies) The gay porn came a couple of years later (as did the gay sex, lots of it). The path from there to here was a process of gradually learning to accept my true self and see my sexual desires/needs as something to be enjoyed and not repressed.
I could preach about how amazingly liberating it feels to 'come out' but I've no right to encourage you in one direction or the other (or both directions!) because it's up to you!
You need to be true to yourself. If you prefer girls, do what feels right. Explore your sexuality by being with girls (just kissing and heavy making-out for now, you're 15!) And you might find you prefer girls and have girlfriends, and the gay teenage thing might become just a memory.
And if that doesn't work, maybe you're gay. You can't force yourself to be straight. If so, don't be ashamed, go with it and see where it takes you. (A little bit of shame, enjoying the tingly forbidden-fruit aspect of it like 'I can't believe what I'm doing now!' is normal and exciting - but an overwhelming sense of shame isn't healthy)
All the best with whatever way you want to go! And whether that's with a girl or a guy, don't rush into having sex just for the sake of it, only do it when it feels right.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): I wouldn't worry about it at your age ...just go with it, gay, straight or bi - its all perfectly acceptable these days :)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (28 August 2009):
 You are still very young and curious. More experience with women may help validate your proclivity one way or the other. My only suggestion is that one homosexual episode may lead you in that direction, just as activities with the opposite sex may prove to be preferable. Each to his own.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Dont worry, I used to panic when i got an erection on a bus going to school. Beleive me it is embarrassing doesnt mean i want to sleep with a bus. I have looked at gay porn and yes it get the senses going as would any porn if your body is still developing. Maybe you are or maybe you are not, 20 years ago people were afraid of admitting such things. The fact that you are even asking this question means that you are mature enough to work this out for yourself. Yes there are people out there who would be critical but they are fast becoming the minority. Be yourself, be true and most of all be honest.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Straight people don't get hooked on gay porn. If it turns you on then you are gay or bisexual. Nothing to worry about.
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