A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, my boyfriend broke up with me after 2 and half years. i loved him alot, truly love. He broke up with me on novemeber 27, 2005. and its july 24, 2007....so its almost 2 years we have broke up...but can u believe that i still cry for him....i cry everyday...i cant control myself...i loved him from my heart...sometimes i feel like suicide but this is not right so i wont even try. but anyway i dont know what to do ?? heres the whole story--we went out 2 and half years, at the end he started ignoring me. whenever i call he replied he is sleepy or hungry...he used to ignore me...so one day i called him and told him that i need a break..he asked me why? but i started crying on the phone because he was the reason.. then he asked me to come on msn...and on net, he told me that HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME...after 2 n half years.....i asked me if i did something wrong...he started talking that u r the sweetest girl in this world...but i think it was a conditional love...not the love which stays forever...i dont miss u, i dont think about u the way u do....he asked me to give him some time...i gave him few months...but after months, i asked him..he said the same that he doesnt have feelings for me..then he asked me to stay as freind...but i told him no....becuase i have same feelings for him and its hard to stay as freind who u love...soo after two or three months, i couldnt control myself and i called him and asked that TELL ME THE REAL REASON OF BROKE UP...but he said the same thing over n over that feelings...and now these days i see him in my college...he tries to ignore me but i still say hi to him.....and when i get home all i do is cry..i cant control my heart....i still love him same way...after we broke up, two guys asked me out, i tried to gave them chance but it didnt work out becuase i was still missing my ex.... soo i dont know how can i get over him....please help me out...i think im a big looser in this world...i cant forget this guy who deosnt even care about me and ignores me all the time..but i cant help !!! plz tell me what should i do ????
View related questions:
a break, broke up, msn, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TessHogan  +, writes (17 October 2010):
Hi there. First of all I love all of your replies. Its so sad that you are crying over this guy. I can understand and your not a loser. But it seems your self esteem is really low. Think of a friend that you love, imagine this is her story? What advice would you give her. I remember my ex was treating me badly. My nerves were shot, stressed out. Second guessing myself. And I would reward him for bad behaviour. He stood me up on a special night I was all dressed up,he wanted to watch TV instead. He didn't even call, I had to call him. So I cooked a lasangne for him with my tears as special flavouring. My mom said 'oh great your cooking dinner', I said 'Sorry Mam its for Jerry'. She says'Jesus, Jerry gets everything that comes out of my oven, when are you gonna cook for us?' then I told her he stood me up because I started crying and she said'Honey, you give that lasagne to that idiot I'm gonna kick you up the ass'. And thank God because I was such a fool. I would have been mortified. My point is, Jerry wasn't worth it and neither is this douchbag. He's ignoring you. he's a coward. But I know that you love him. But I wish you could love yourself more. Walk tall. Have you thought that maybe your not happy with other things in your life. I mean when I broke up with Jerry, I was so low and I also called him and text him awfull deep fried emotional rubbish. But I was living at home, I wasn't very happy in my job..because I didn't have one. I had debts and no savings and I was so drained by life and so sad inside. I had no self control. Get some self control of your life. That will build your sefl confidence. And never give up hope. My life is completely different now and I've met someone far more worthy of me than lazy Jerry. Good luck. And keep writing its therapueticxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): My ex bf broke things off with me after 4 yrs--Inbetween we had a 4 months break. But after that got back together. That was the worse thing I could have done!! I should have stayed away from him when I left him that first time--But I didnt do that and bc of that I got burnt so bad!! He never loved me. I think he just used me until he was able to get back with his ex. The day of the break up is by far still the worse break up I have ever encountered! He had sex with me and then right after told me it was over. How cruel was that?! No warning! He just got up and said its over. I was so heartbroken and confused. I thought for sure I wouldnt survive those raw,raging emotions..But eventually I did.I spent countless days and nights then turning into a year and a few months crying for him. I have yet to see or hear from him. The pain in my heart was so intense. I still think of him and at times become angry for the way he ended things--But that has not stopped me from moving forward. Keep in mind LADIES I never once asked for the dirt bag back! Not once. To do that would only feed his ego. I stayed away. As hard as it was to do-I never let him know how bad he hurt me. Never let them see you sweat! NEVER!You must think of yourself and ONLY yourself. For me I had to do 3 things. I had to accept first to being rejected,2nd to life without him,and 3rd to falling out of love with him. None of which was easy!I am not only speaking to you but to anyone else out here who is going through a hearbreak--Keep yourslef busy and try to focus on things that make you forget that person. If you wanna get over someone you have got to want it. Although it was so hard for me to do at first (forgetting him)I did it. I still love him perhaps I always will but that doesnt mean I am going to stop living or enjoyng the company of another guy. Fuck him!!!He lost the best thing that ever happened to him and someday he will see that..Until then I am going to love me and do my best at forgetting him. One thing you can bank on..THEY ALWAYS TRY TO COME BACK WHEN YOU STOP THINKING OF THEM! Trust me they always do. Whoever is hurting out there-I want you to ask yourself one question. What was it about that person that makes you think you truly,deeply,love them? In my case I felt so hurt bc I got dumped. Otherwise I dont think I would have felt it as bad. Or hurt over him as long as I did. I loved him but I realized through the pain that he wasnt the man I first fell in love with. Thats who I loved-Not the person he became later on. There is a big difference in that. Still I loved him and that is what matters here. My ex was and still is a arrogant piece of shit! Nothing about him is so great (not even the sex was good) lol It was the fact that he left me and I didnt leave him..Does that make sense? Hmmm..Either way I am almost there:) I have wasted enough time crying over someone who never loved me to begin with.Stay strong whoever you are--I know that with time it will get better! They say you have to pull the weeds from the roots in order for the hole to close--start pulling the weeds people!! lol Remember every path has its puddles. Dont worry in time you will forget. Feelings are nothing more than emotions and with all feelings they will change or pass in time. Remember you didnt lose them--THEY LOST YOU:):)Good luck and beleive in yourself--It will get better:)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): Not 4 the broken gal from 2007, but for all the broken records that have stumbled upon this thread....
Two years? Seriously. What sort of person lives for others? Don't u have any self respect at all? What is it about another individual that makes u think it's worth giving up? The touching, the kissing, the hugs, the sex, the conversation???? You were born not to love, but to experience the world. Love is a secondary need at best; the trick is to let it go once it starts to do u no good.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mark123456  +, writes (28 September 2008):
You poor girl!!!! I almost cried at your story... this bloke is not worth your time girl!!!! if you have a heart as strong as you say you need to find somone that will reciprocate your feelings. I know this sux but you have to bee strong and wait for this person (they will come)i have been through 2 fucked up relationships the first being the mother of my children that i am now the sole parent of!! and the second year and a half relationship being a stupid attemt of finding true love.and i still find myself crying myself to sleep over the mother of my children even though she put me through hell and still continues to do so!!! I have now learned as a male that the next girl i put my heart into will have to make one hell of mark in my life and be everything i have been looking for all these years to come even close to the girl i will spend the rest of my days with... point being if this bloke isn't what your heart needs you have to and i do mean HAVE TO get this worthless bloke out of your head !!! you are worth so much more and you know what you have to offer!!!! this is harsh but get the bloody hell on with your life and forget this prick! if he dose not love you then he is not worthy of your love! PS when you find a worthy man you will know... just dont let anyone play your strings and always put a man through his Paces .. if he wants you he will prove it
...............................
A
female
reader, AyeshaChoudhury +, writes (27 May 2008):
Hey
I really do understand what you are going through i do exactly the same every day. My ex left me as he got anther girl pregnent and said it was for the best, we had been together for 5 years and then one day out of the blue he says he got another girl pregnent, we had a massive argument, he said some really horrible things and i have not seen or spoken to him since that day, it has now been a year and i still feel as upset as i did before. I find it so hard to move on dont think i ever can really.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): For 2 years I was with my ex-boyfriend and then on my 20th birthday he broke up with me. I was devastated and stupidly thought we could sort things out eventually. I decided to give him some space, and seeing as I was living away at university anyway at this time, this made it a lot easier not to bump into him. I stopped eating, I self harmed, I got stupidly drunk every weekend and literally started falling apart for 2 months...then when I arrived home from university for the christmas holidays I decided to finally speak to him. I thought that he would have changed his mind and that he would have realised by this point that he still loved me, but his answer was the same - he simply did not feel the same for me and he sent me home and refused to talk to me as I cried. 2 years on from this and I still think of him. He's contacted me since to let me know that he wants me back but I would never even consider this knowing that if it didn't work the first time then why should it work a second time? I harbour a lot of hatred towards him for the way he has treated me, for the constant pestering and interfering with my life since I have found a new partner of which I am incredibly happy with...but in my heart I still feel like the love we shared was true passion at its strongest - the spark between us was incredible. We were fiery and argumentative and caring and loving and it was a relationship which went from one extreme to another...nothing can ever compare. He taught me what love is about.
The way you feel now will subside and you will be able to move on, especially if you are young - you have your whole life ahead of you and you are yet to meet hundreds and hundreds of people...one of which will be your true soulmate. If I hadn't have lost my ex, I never would've met my partner today. He is my true soulmate because his love is consistant and our friendship is deep. You never forget, but you learn to live with it and move on.
You're going to be absolutely fine...promise :)
xXx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): Two things...
1. You have it so bad that you seriously need to think about moving away to a bigger city for your own sanity.
2. See a therapist, the mention of suicide in your question, even though you say you never would, is frightening.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): From personal experience, just try to avoid him as best you can. I broke up with a guy after only 4 months, (he asked me out, then months later was more interested in going out with his mates) and even though it wasn't a long time I had to see him in uni nearly every single day and it was torture. I broke up with one guy because of the feelings I had for him, and nearly broke up with another one as well.
It took me years, but when I left uni and moved away suddenly I found I wasn't feeling as strongly as I was before. I realised because I was getting a near daily reminder of him I just couldn't make that mental break away.
Looking back I can't believe I was so silly. Please don't think I'm calling you silly I know how bad it hurts believe me. But hopefully one day you'll see that he wasn't the one for you and be able to find the one who is.
Best of luck. x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): i have thought about what you have written.. my gut feeling is you cant move on because you havent had the answers to the questions going through your head.. the "what did i do" "was it me" .. sometimes hunni, you are never going to get the answers. i think it was low for him to say that he never had feelings for you, when i think he did. saying things like that are intended to make you angry and upset and thats just whats happened here.
you are grieving for "what was" and the person you thought you had , and infact he wasnt the person he really claimed to be. it must feel like a lie of a relationship?
just remember that although he has treated you so nastily, you are better than that and can rise above anything he has said. in your life you will meet better people than him and he will become a little memory where you think "erm, what was his name?"
you need to maybe forget about guys for a while and just concentrate on being happy within yourself. have fun with your mates. go out looking good and show that fella that there is a life for you without him in it. your friends are your biggest armour so use them and have some fun.
And if you pass him in the street, let him say hi to you first! show him you are now an independant strong young women!
good luck chik..YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!
...............................
|
