A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in love with my ex boyfriend for 7 years, we broke up 7 years ago. I cant explain how he made me feel, this is true love, I have thought about him almost every day since we broke up, I have been in another relationship that lasted 5 years and Ive had a child, I loved my childs father, but not the way I love my first boyfriend, I never got over him, even while with my childs father, I knew that I would always leave who ever Im with to be with my ex boyfriend in a heartbeat if he came back into my life, I ran into my ex about a year and a half ago, we began seeing each other again, but we had to brake it off because he was married, I found this out after we stopped messing around. My heart felt unbareable pain when we broke it off this second time around, but I let him go, just like the first time. Well now he is married still and has young children. I just dont understand why I am still in love with him like this after so many years. I dont want anyone in the world but him, I think about him every day. I know Im not crazy, because I dont do crazy things, I dont stalk him, I will not try to destroy his marriage, I stay away from him completely, he does not even know how I feel, I was too scared to tell him when we were messing around the last time. I dont understand this, is he my soulmate, if not then why do I have these feelings if it is not meant for us to be together. Nobody has the ability to control their feelings or who they fall in love with, If I had the choice I would have erased these feelings along time ago, I dont like feeling like this at all, I pray every day to either, bring him back into my life or erase these feelings,but nothing will change. Its been 7 years, I am miserable. I guess Im going to spend the rest of my life being in love with someone I cant be with. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): It is very important to understand that life is not governed by feelings but principle and love on itself is a principle not a feeling, If you love somebody you will make decisions that will always affect his life in a positive way. Further on you will understand that when governed by love you consider others before you in this case His marriage is too sacred to be tampered with in the name of love.In the case of you still loving him the best you can do for him is to forget about him as far as alove relationship is concerned, and you will do yourself a great favour by living in the presence than in the past to live in the reality than in dream land.Love grows by cultivation and if you begin to cultivate where you are you will reap some positive good, there is nothing wrong with your current union the problem is that your focus is elsewhere.
A
female
reader, Pola +, writes (27 July 2009):
 to me it's like you have some type of remorse. was that you who initiate the break up? did you do something to him you should not do? we need ome more input to your story. I would love to comment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): I just can't believe you feel the same as I do. I thought no one will understand how i feel but honestly i was crying while reading your question and also one of another person's answer (jenice). you'll also be in my prayers and I know how much its hurt.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): I am the same with you my friend.. I am in a difficult relationship with a married man for 2 years now. it is difficult esp if there are times that we cant see each other because of his commitment to his wife. there are times that im confused and i want to break away. there are nights that i cry alone because i am missing him. i also dont know where to put myself but all i know, my feelings to this man is genuine and i am willing to do evrything for him.
I agree to Jshephered and also to Wisdom who both gave opposite points. it may however take time to determine which path we would like to take: continue loving the man we love but cannot be ours or letting him go to give ourself a chance of meeting someone who will love us back.
for me, i cannot make a choice yet. i am trying to imagine myself with someone else and this hurting me a lot because the idea of not growing old with him is unbearable.
i dont know until when i should wait. i maybe crazy but I cant help, I am in love with this married man.
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reader, trashgirl18 +, writes (21 August 2008):
O, I see where your coming from. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. And today I found out he's getting married. I haven't gone one day without thinking about him. I just know that I love him more then he'll ever love me. So thats why this time I'm going to let him go and smile because what we had was pure, and it happened.
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reader, JShepherd  +, writes (9 June 2008):
HI,
Just wanted you to know that I totally know what you are going through, and have all of the feelings of emotional connection on a spiritual level with this person...and it's love...true love...knowing that if things had been or were different now, you'd be happy everyday for the rest of your life knowing that he is yours.
I don't know why life is like this and I don't have an answer for you, but I do know that he is so lucky to have someone like you to love him. How many people in this world do we have that thinks about us everyday? And with genuine heartfelt love like yours? You care. You love him deeply. And that says a lot about you and your character! I admire you. You are a good person and there are people out there who do not know how to love.
I hope that my post helps a little. You don't have to let him go...no, because that's too easy, and you know what? Unlike other people who say get on with your life, I know how you feel and these feelings are not easy to let go. You may love him until your last day. Wow, what a lucky guy to have your love! Maybe you're both meant to learn something from each other in this life...and maybe you won't find out what that is until many lifetimes later, but you know what? Maybe no one's told you this, but your feelings are for real...they are there for a reason...so don't feel bad or think anything is wrong with you. Just realize that there may be reasons that cannot be explained at this time. All will be revealed in time, just remember that life is short and you have nothing to feel bad about.
You can email me if you want, [email address blocked]
Janice
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reader, Wisdom  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 Having once upon a time being in a similar situation, May I suggest professional help? Heartache can hurt like nothing else and its not a wound that will heal easily. I took time out for myself and all the other things your supposed to do and it didn't work, I then went and got professional help. Fast forward a few years and I am now with a wonderful man who I love and who loves me. I saw my ex not that long ago and although I loved him like crazy I didn't feel anything. I never thought I would get to that stage but I did. I thought I would be inlove with a man who I could never have for the rest of my life.... but I am not.
I know it sounds crazy but honestly, Give it a go. It really can help you and it will help you with other areas of your life too! You will heal. It will take time but you will heal
Good luck sweetheart
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