A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 14 and in a almost 4 month relationship with a guy that I like very much, I feel like I love him. Anyways, the reason I am here is because since the beginning of the relationship we we both really liked each other but we're sort of awkward and quiet around each other and the awkwardness is slowly fading away but there still is some present. He never approaches me during school, he'll approach the group of friends I'm talking to and talk to them and ask questions but won't say much (if anything at all) to me. We are very open and talk well over text but in person or in a FaceTime call it's like we don't know what to say. I've asked him about it and he just says he's comfortable but doesn't know what to say around me and honestly I feel the same way. I know I want to talk to him but it's not easy to talk to him like my family or friendsI really hate this because he says he likes having me around and wants me to sit with him at lunch and stuff, but when I do come around we don't really talk. I even have to be the one to grab his hand under the table, kiss his cheek, or ask for a hug. I really don't want to breakup but I feel like his friends and even total strangers, that he talks to when we go hang out, are more interesting and a higher priority than me. We just show some affection to each other and not say much else... But then he'll text me what he felt. I'm getting worried that texting has ruined an I person connection and I feel as if he's losing interest because now even over text it feels like he's holding back more. He doesn't say I love you first much anymore and when I say I love you he either disregards it and keeps the conversation going or says love u 2 and moves on. Especially when we enter a rough patch and things aren't going well that night I like to make sure I say I love you so that he knows that in a rough patch I still care for him but when I asked how he felt during a rough patch he says he doesn't feel anything special for me. I'm just a normal person. I'm starting to worry about our relationship and how it is supposed to last the summer and last going to separate high schools like we both have said many time the we want. Please help!!! ThanksP.S. sorry if the story is choppy and doesn't make sense.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 May 2015):
 Maybe some affection here and there is all he's capable of, with a girl. Until he emotionally matures it is a pain to endure awkwardness when he doesn't know how to relate to girls. Or you might find that even at an older age he's still quiet. That's just his personality. As long as he doesn't complain, and you don't complain, there is no other reason to end it rather than, you are not happy and he's not giving you what you need.
He's not the talking type, so you two have to find activities outdoors.
When you had that rough patch, he may not understand what happened and why you were upset. He may not know what to do or what to say to make you feel better. When you wrote "he didn't feel anything special," that could be misinterpreted as you are not special, when what he meant was that he didn't see that rough patch as a big deal. Maybe you can explain further what that rough patch was.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): It's very true that when you fancy someone, they get a lot harder to talk to! He talks to everyone else happily because he doesn't care so much what they think or feel about him. When I go out I can chat to all the men I don't fancy fine, but when I'm around the one I do like I can't be the same and I wish I could cos the others want to date me! The one I like flirts with me, but it's a long process because I think he likes me too and he seems to be a bit shy with me, but chats the other women up fine! I think maybe you should back up on the I love you's. I think maybe it's a bit much for him. You are both very young still. Just be great and friendly and maybe a little hard to get and see if he comes running. I think the running shoes need to be on his feet for a while. Then you'll know how he feels. Then, you can talk to him about what happens when you go to different schools.But I think right now, he's maybe finding it all a bit much, so back off a little and see what happens.Good luck!
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