A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm really looking for advice on how I can come can better accept things in life and see a more positive side . I'm finding my life experience is that the men I have known have seemed exceedingly caught up in women's appearances and only concerned about the hotness and newness of women . This seems to have been the case in my relationships but also other women in my life . The men seem to be constantly on the lookout for a newer hotter model . So I know it can't just be about my choices. Even when meeting friends of mine , male friends first question always seems to be is she hot . Nothing else seems to matter to men but looks . Once a woman is past a certain age of if she doesn't have the certainLook he loses interest It makes me feel that men don't genuinely care for or think of women as anything but meat.I would like to believe otherwise and watch daily for examples otherwise and yes , I see men walking down the road with less than glamorous wives but often they are eyeing off young hot women and often I hear that they leave when the opportunity arises It's like they always look to upgrade based purely on appearance no matter what they shared with the partner or how beautiful their relationship is , looks and the superficial seems to trump all for men . Is that true ?For the record I have dated short men fat men and yes broke men . I can honestly say my attraction comes from the person and usually some innate indescribable attraction Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2017): Op here , thanks Riot , your answer gives me hope . What you say is so right . I'm sure there must be materialistic women too . Not caring about such things , I find it hard to readers to other women
Being that way but I believe the world is full of materialism . However like you say there are good people out there and I want to keep
Believing in that and I will . Thank you
A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (28 August 2017):
Hello OP.I honestly think you are generalizing. Not all men are that way, although there are a LOT of guys out there that are just like you just described.I personally have met very materialistic woman my whole life, starting from my sister. They only care about looks and money too. Most of the women I know are professional Gold Diggers, who see that men are cash cows they can milk their money out. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that ALL woman are that way. There are women that dump their man when a dude with more money comes around. There are good woman out there, very few though, that look at a guy beyond his money and appearances.You see, we all live in a materialistic society, which values money and looks above anything else. It's a problem with the system and our society, and it's generalized on a global scale.There are very good men out there, and there are very good women out there. My current GF loved me even when I was broke and not very good looking. She is not a materialistic person in the same way I'm not a materialistic person.If you are looking for a meaningful relationship , you need to look for non-materialistic guys, that have empathy, and loves you for what you are, not by how you look or how much you earn. Yes, it's going to be hard, but it's not impossible.You really don't want to date those guys that treat and see women as meat, as those are jerks and you want to be away from those.Best luck!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (26 August 2017):
 Well it is pretty pointless to argue against your conviction. I can't make you believe that most people are a lot like you, even male people.
Men and women have emotional needs. The need for an attractive partner is very common for men. The need for stability is very common in women. Those do not make men all about the meat any more than it makes women all about the Bank balance.
If you continue to chose to be offended by men being men, you will continue to be disappointed by most of the men you meet.
Regardless of how attractive a woman is she will not be a long term prospect for any man unless she fills at least 2 other important emotional needs as well. No matter how much wealth a man has he will never be the choice of any woman unless he fill at least 2 other of her most important emotional needs.
If it really were all about one factor then yes there would be plenty of upgrading going on. (and I do think there is way too much upgrading going on) But the Truth is much more complex than that. Men are every bit as complex as you are.
It is very likely that your innate, indescribable attraction is actually a mix of filling your most important emotional needs. My advice to you is to do some reading, and self inventory, and find out what your true emotional needs are. Then instead of fretting about what "men" are, you can start looking for the "Man" you need. And you can start being the Kind of Woman that that man is Attracted to.
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