A
male
age
41-50,
*gonized penguin
writes:Hello all,I've been with this girl for more than 2 years now, she's an intern, and will graduate in august, so on 3 Dec 2009 she broke up with me because she wants to continue her studying and become a surgeon, after 3 days of crying and begging her to stay i decided to go on with my life, but on sunday the 13th, she called me telling me she missed me, and we agreed to stay in a break, but we'll be calling each others, etc, i was fine with that, but at the same time couldn't work, or even eat, on the 23rd we went back together, and it was like falling in love all over again, and she told me to hit her on the head if she ever break up with me again, after all that sweet talk, i could continue my work.. and my life, she didn't go to her hospital, until 2 days ago, when she did, she started to neglect me again, and i paniced, and told her that she has changed, so she breaks up with me again, but come back the next day, she tells me that she loves me, and i know she does, but when she's away i just can't do anything now, and i feel i am losing her, since she have now night shifts, we only talk together for an hour a day, it would be enough for me under normal circumstances, but now, i am scared of losing her, i can't work now, I need her so much :( what should i do?
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 I think her head is having an argument with her heart.
It may be that she see's logic in certain decisions that she feels will benefit her in the long run- eg: being single and focusing all of her time and energy in to study.
Then her emotions creep in which are notorious at disrespecting our logic and pull her back in the opposite direction - back to you.
You can either choose to walk, or choose to hang around whilst she processess all of this. Be warned tho, it may make you feel like your on a roller coaster coz there may be a pattern of breaking up then getting back together repeating many more times until she finally sways one way or the other.
This occuring tho will harm your relationship coz eventually you are going to throw a guard up and hold your own self back from allowing yourself to get too close or feel too much, so it wont hurt as much when she flip flops again and you are facing another break up.
It is a gamble, but you could try holding all the cards instead by you yourself maintaining a distance, let her know your heart is not going to be messed with, let her see what she is missing out on by getting on with your life positively and be that person she first fell for instead of letting her see your sadness and desperation(fake it for her eyes if U have to - cry to everyone else), ...and if she wants you back, don't make it too easy for her so she will not only understand that she is lucky to get back in with you, but so she will value the potential loss more and think twice about deciding upon it frivilously in future.
Good Luck :-)
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