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male
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anonymous
writes: I have a very best friend of the opposite sex who lives in another country. We had a very close and intimate relationship for over a year, however because of the distance between us we tried to be rational and made the painful decision that we should persue other relationships if they came up.2 weeks later my friend had a new guy and sleeping with him :( This broke my heart that she could move on so fast, especially because I take a long time to get over a relationship. However I tried to be happy for her and not make her feel guilty.Now her new boyfriend is jealous that we still talk when we used to be so close, and so has banned her from talking to me anymore. I told her that this was wrong, but she said she wants to make him happy and so has agreed to only talk to me every few months.I am so heartbroken... I don't know how she could just throw away our friendship so fast when I thought it meant so much to her... I don't think it is fair of him to ask that of her, but it hurts even more that she would agree to it... am I expecting too much or am I right to feel hurt? Do you think in time it will settle down and she will talk to me again? I still love her so much but I think I could deal with just being friends... however I don't know if I can stand not having her as a friend at all.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Hey Best Friend,
Firstly, what did you think was going to happen? You agreed to see other people. Women are on the receiving end of appraoches. Thus, of course she is going to have more opportunity.
Her being with someone else so quickly is not a sign of her affection or lack of affections for you. It is the nature of the beast.
If is OK to take your time getting over her, but that does not mean not seeing other people. Get out there, start approaching new people and date.
Her boyfriend is Right. You still have feelings for her, and you are a threat to the relationship he is building with her.
Get out there and date again. You are allowed to be in pain while doing it, but just do it.
You can check out my book if you want to get her back (From Loser to Seducer) or if you want to attract new women in your life look for Everything Out of her Mouth is a Test: A Man's Guide to the Emotional Needs of Women
at www.franktalks.com
-Frank B Kermit
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