A
female
age
30-35,
*llie00
writes:I met my ex-bf in a somewhat unusual way in July of last year. Because of the situation I really felt as though fate had brought us together; we were absolutely perfect for each other (and I truly mean that), and after about a month I couldn't even imagine my life without him. He showed me more love, affection, and kindness than anyone else had.Going to different schools, we did the long distance thing, and dated for a little over 8 months. Towards the end of March he decided to come visit me. I was ecstatic as always, but it turned out the only reason he came to see me was to break up. He still had strong feelings for a girl he had dated in high school (we're both college seniors), and he felt he could not be in any kind of a relationship. He admitted that he would like very much to go back to her, but didn't have the nerve to tell her how he felt. For the time being, he had to stay single.I know that in his heart he still had feelings for me, that he was confused, and that he felt very guilty. He told me a day later that he may want to get back with me if his feelings eventually subsided.It's two months later, and I just found out he's dating someone else at his school (not the girl he originally had feelings for).It's really messing with me...I feel like I can't eat or sleep, I'm so heartbroken, and I don't know if he was telling the truth. I've always had a strong hope that I might have a second chance with him, and now I feel like he's gone forever.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Hes telling the truth me thinks, but is a jerk. He's now screwing this new girl over just like he did you, and at end she'll hear the same old same old that he told you! Sorry, he's immature, and still doesn't know what he wants, and threw away something wonderful. His loss!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): He probably did like you. The thing about guys (which in my opinion is different from girls) they generally aren't programmed for "long distance." I have never met a guy who took a girl seriously upon meeting her knowing that their time together was counted and that they would be living far apart. I mean it can happen but it is rare. Girls tend to be more capable of withstanding distance and long periods of time apart from their lovers. Men have needs I guess and often lose interest as soon as those needs aren't met.
Like I said, I'm sure he did like you that is why he did the long distance thing with you for as long as he did. But as you can see the time apart was too much time for him and he lost interest. Maybe he was getting angsty, feeling lonely, surrounded by temptation. He just couldn't handle the distance anymore.
He probably does still have a soft spot for you but even so he did break up with you. So you have every right to feel disillusioned or angry with him. You have every right to move on. I think you should. Get back on your feet, get into the dating scene, go out and have fun. Show him that you are fine without him. Get beautiful and sassy, make him feel like he lost the best thing that ever happened to him.
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