A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I have been trying to conceive now for nearly 2 years without any luck.When we originally began trying, starting a family was all I could think about. I'd always wanted to become a mother and my maternal urges nearly all-consumed me.The stress was getting to both of us and it seemed we'd forgotten how to have fun and just enjoy being together. Coincidentally, during this time, we became homeowners. I'd always wanted a dog my entire life and I thought now would be an ideal time. Without children at this point, we'd have more time to train him and settle him in before we start a family. I also yearned for something to care for and the idea of adopting an animal in need had always been a plan of ours.Anyway, we have now rescued a dog. A beautiful, gentle soul and he's the most wonderful pet. He's an extremely intelligent, gentle giant that's never been given love, never learnt how to play and now he's just the happiest, most mischievous and playful boy. We love him so much and we spend all our spare time together, the three of us, as a family. He's really brought so much joy and laughter to our lives.I didn't realise I'd feel this way but with my beautiful dog to love and care for, I've lost, or at least greatly decreased, my desire to have children. I no longer have this deep yearning to be a mother. I feel that my sweet and loving dog has somehow satisfied my maternal urges. I've been able to devote all my love and time to my boy and he's a very sensitive dog anyway but since living with us, his confidence has grown hugely and he's learning so much.Anyway, I know it's strange that this little family of three feels enough for me and us. Wherever we take him, our boy is just happy being with us, just being part of a family. It's just so rewarding. I know that he'll live out his entire life with us, making the most of every moment and so grateful to be in our family. He'll never go through a stage where he hates us or argues back to us, stays out all night drinking or crashes the car.I know it's not really a fair comparison. The point is that we feel at peace with our little family and don't really have that desire anymore to have kids.Has anyone else been in this situation? What are your thoughts? My mother would be horrified if I told her I felt this way!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2015): Thanks so much for your answers everybody. Your posts were so lovely.
I feel so much better hearing from you all :)
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 June 2015):
 As long as it's "we feel" instead of just "I feel" then there shouldn't be a problem. Just make sure you and your partner are totally on the same page on this topic. I have two rescue dogs that I love to bits but I also have three kids and 11 grandkids that I love even more. Each kid brings the extra love with them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2015): That's beautiful. Sounds like a perfect set up.
If you have children, then they will come at the right time. And if not, then life is for living and being happy, which sounds like what you've just described ! Keep at it, don't listen to anyone else's imposed view !
I'm 30 too, and people keep advising me that you should have children while you are 'young, healthy and fertile' you'll have all sorts of problems if you don't have them 'right now'
There is no proof out there to say when it is exactly the right time for any woman, everyones make up is different.
I do not yearn for children, I'm envious you've even gone through a yearning phase! so its not on my immediate agenda, and I just politely say thanks for your advice - I'll think about it :-)
I'd love a dog ! They're such fun additions to a family. I can't have a dog in my apartment, but I'd love to become someones dog walker !!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2015): Isnt that lovely that the new addition has arrived as a rescue dog and that fits in just right with you and your partners lifestyle. Congratulations you will have many happydays and nights! I think your having fun and enjoying the peaceful lull in your minds. If you should accidentally get pregnant and you have a wee baby justdont put him or her in the kennel by mistake!
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