A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have no clue how to make friends. Its not that I have never had friends because I have, but its always been a struggle. Out of the 5 friends I do have, I have had most them forever. And I'm only friends with them cuz they pushed their way into my life. I moved to school and only made friends because I lived with them. And I have a boyfriend that I met through those roommates. But I feel like the main character from the movie 'I love you manc. Only the girl version. I have boyfriends, but never real friends. I'm so Damn awkward. I have no clue how to make people like me. They always think I'm mean because I'm introverted. I moved to a very tourist area for the summer and people keep going "oh you're so lucky!" But I dont feel lucky. I'm always alone. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI suppose I didn't make myself clear. I have 5 good friends, but I don't see any of them. Two moved states away and the others live 3 hours away normally and sense I moved for the summer they are almost 6 hours away. The last time I saw one of them was 3 months ago. I'm alone all the time. Everyday. Now I don't know how to make friends. But its true that I need to join a group, but I don't know how to talk to people. I'm very open when I get to know people but I don't know how to get to that point.
Also I never said anything about wanting male friends. I'm not sure where that came from.
A
male
reader, thesj +, writes (12 July 2014):
My first year of college, I only really through my roommate. They were likeable people, but I haven't kept in touch with them since we never really had much in common. Then my second year I joined a club for an activity I was really interested in. I made tons of friends, several of which I am close with today despite living in different towns, and one was even a groomsman at my wedding.Joining a club or something similar can be a great way to meet friends. If you live in a small town, this can be a lot harder, especially if you have obscure interests. But it can be a lot of fun if this option is available.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2014): Firstly, introverts are not the people who are to themselves. Introverts are those who need to be alone to recharge. Introverts can be very approachable, fun to be around and sould of any group, but then they have to retrieve to their nest to rest and stay away with from people. It's me. You might extrovert actually if you need to be around people non stop. Unfortunatelly my job is working with people, and at the end of day I am totally drained, I think your attitude is the big problem here. To have 5 friends is very good actually, and it's not that small of an amount of friends. So, you have a boyfriend and 5 girfriend's. and your complains is that you don't have more than that, and male friends. Male friends at your age are not that easy to come by. Even later you will discover that it's very hard to maintain platonic relationship with any guy. I personally don't have a single guy friend. Well, of course there are friends of my husband, husbands of my girfriend's. they all are somewhat friends. But if I didn't know thm through other sources there wouldn't be any friendship. 5 girfriend's is quite a bit in my opinion. Friendship needs to be maintained. I have 7 girfriend's, which I met at different stages of my life, and honestly to see them all even every 2 weeks for me would be a lot hanging out together. Luckily it 3 groups of them , and I can combine our girls nights out, and that's how we keep in touch. Then there are birthday parties and other events. I don't know but unless you want to hang out every single day , I think 5 girfriend's are plenty. "They pushed their way into my life". But this is how ussualy people become friends. One of my friends I met through dance class,one I was translating in hospital delivery room, becaus she spoke no English, and I volunteered there. An then her 2 friends became mine. One I met through my language club, and then her friend. It's very seldom that you can just make friends walking on a street. When people in unfamiliar for them place or travelling and they are by themselves, they very often feel lonely. It's only natural that you feel this way and it doesn't matter that it's a sunny touristic area. My experience that the best way to meet friends is through hobbies. Good luck.
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