A
female
age
51-59,
*ooey
writes:Hi i will try to keep this as short as i can. My story starts way back in Jan 2009 my boyfriend and i had a heated row the first proper row in 6 years. A few days later he said he didn't feel the same way about me anymore his feelings had changed and we had to part. I was devastated i love him with all my heart and i know he had never loved anyone like me, i could see the love when he held me and told me it was amazing. After a few weeks we got back together again, and theres the pattern we get back together for 6- 8 weeks and then he will say i'm sorry i just don't love you anymore that row killed it and i have tried to feel the same as before because i reaay want to but i just can't. This is how it went all year on and off when we are together he starts saying love you again but a few weeks later we are back to parting. On November 10th this happened again he started to act strange a few days before i asked him if we were ok and he said no im sorry i just don't love you i have loved you but the feelings have gone i dont want to hurt you and i still think the world of you but i want to be friends only i wish it wasn't like this, so we parted again. On December 2nd we started talking and ended up back in bed, the sex is so fantastic between us there is no problems there. We have been together since and mostly everything is going well except he never says i love you except in 2 texts he has sent. He never tells me to my face i have those words i don't love you anymore going round in my head all the time and they hurt so much, i want to forget he said them and make it work. Each time he leaves i wait for him to tell me but he never does he just kisses me and goes, i long for him to hold me and tell me all those special things he used to say, he used to text and say such fantastic things to me like he never wants to be without me, im the love of his life and tell me how much he was missing me but not now. I think as the year went on each split he missed me less and didn't hurt like he used to. Im hurting so much and so confused does he love me if not why did he write it in 2 texts at xmas. Should i ask him iv wanted to but i don't want him to feel im pushing him, and if i talk about my feelings will this also make him think im pushing things, i don't no what to do anymore i'm hurting everyday. please can anyone give me some advice. We are not a young couple i am 40 and he is 46 and we have been together almost 7 years. i don't want to lose him i can honestly say i still love him as much as i ever have.
View related questions:
get back together, got back together, I love you, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Rosette +, writes (30 January 2010):
you've made your man far too important to you. where are you in all this? men do have their place but they shouldn't be the whole world to a woman. remain still for a while and see what he is gonna do. give him a chance to do something... anything...
A
female
reader, zooey +, writes (19 January 2010):
zooey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your replies, i don't have much hope of getting him to counselling he just isn't that sort, apart from not telling me he loves me anymore everything is going so well. Maybe i should wait it out a little longer and just hope we work out. Thank you all again for your time x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): Its a shame things arent working out very well. It sounds as if you both have or had very strong feelings for each other. You say it haunts you because he said he didnt love you anymore and you want to hear him say it now. But he doesnt. Im just wondering what the words were that upset him so much that he ended things. Are those words still buzzing around his head? Is that why he ends things again and again? You both need to go to counselling now before he leaves again, because you are right. Each time he goes it will be getting easier for him. Have a chat and just ask if you could both try counselling. Dont say its because you want him to say he loves you. Those words might still be a sticking point for him. I hope you can get him to go with you and things work out ok.
...............................
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (18 January 2010):
He obviously has not forgiven you for the fight you had. So now he is punishing you for it because he knows you are so desperate to make things work. Perhaps take a break from the relationship to just both heal. If you were wrong in the row, apologise and tell him that you need your space because this back and forth is hurting you. Maybe a shock is what will get him to move forward from the fight.
...............................
|
