A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My parents are starting to make me very nervous. They're going through a rough patch. I'm 20, and the idea of them breaking up terrifies me. They're currently in a long distance situation at the moment. My dad works away during the week, and is only home at weekends. This week however he's come home a day early after my mum got upset talking about the state of their marriage. Tonight after they went to bed, after a short while my dad came downstairs to watch TV, saying that my mum was annoying him.I'm going back to university in mid-september, where I will hopefully be living full time. I can't wait because it means that I won't be stuck here in an atmosphere. But it still feels like a long time to wait, and it doesn't make any difference how far away from them I get, it won't stop them splitting up if they do.I worry myself sick over them. I've got a splitting headache after all this tonight, and I don't want to have to put up with it for another month and a half. What the hell am I going to do? This feels like a nightmare. Please help me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): Whatever happens with your parents' relationship does not mean that either of them will love you less. They will both be there for you, forever. Now that you're 20 and living away from them, it may be time for them to re-evaluate their relationship. It may be that their marriage no longer works for them, or it may be that they just have to work through their issues.
Whether they stay together as a married couple, your mother and your father remain your parents. Of course you want them to stay together and be role-model grandparents when the time comes, but that may not be their destiny. You've grown up and you're moving on with your life -- it may be that they're in that space too. Love them both, support them as you can, but accept that now that they've raised you they might need to move on apart.
A
female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (1 August 2009):
You haven't realized yet that your parents have issues like any marriage and they probably are just tired of each other it sounds like they tolerate each other for you. You have to live your own life and let them live theres your probably worried over nothing and they will continue to live like strangers because that is what they are use too. Just no if they do split there is nothing you can do anyway so why worry yourself I recommend you try to brush it off your shoulders and move on and try not to get in the middle of whatever drama they have going on at the time because it is not worth you having a mental breakdown. Take comfort in the fact that once you leave you will not have to return except on holidays and even that is for a short period of time
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): I don't have any experience here to help you, but maybe you could try to talk to them about it to put your mind at ease? If you're not comfortable talking about it, maybe shoot one of them an email telling them of your concern. I think if you can talk to them individually about what's going on, you can get more insight as to what's goign on. And if they know how much it means to you, then maybe they'll work extra hard to keep it together? I know if i was having problems with my husband and my daughter expressed concern, it would shine a while new light on my situation and i would think more carefuly about what's going on, and work really hard, if not for my sake, then for my own. I think your parents can get through it with the three of you involved instead of just them. Afterall, if they truely loved each other, than how could they just stop?
Good luck. I hope i've helped at least a little. The only other thing i can say is advil.. but it's not good for you to just keep it inside.
~Sy.
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male
reader, IamSoConfused +, writes (1 August 2009):
My own parents went through a horrible break up with my dad cheating on my mum. Everyday they would scream and shout at each other and I would just cry and cry. I was only 14 or so when it happened and lasted for almost half a year.
I felt exactly like you did about it all and couldn't escape it all. But even if they do end up splitting up it isn't the end of the world like you think it will be. You will get through it.
I know it is horrible now but it is only a month. My parents managed to become friends even after my dad cheated on her after 28 years of marriage so have hope.
Try not to worry and talk to your friends about it if you feel it will help. If all else fails there are people to you can talk to about it who won't say it to anyone and could help you.
Good luck. Don't be down about it all, it will be fine :)
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