A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay, ive been with a really nice guy for over a year now. we met almost two years ago and from the second we met, we got on really well. we met up a few times and sort of acted like a couple, went to the cinema's etc.. but then after about 4 months of meeting up we decided to start going out. everything was going great, until now, well around 6 weekss ago i looked on his bebo and he had changed his relationship status to 'down for whatever' which got me thinkin a bit, i wondered how long ago he'd changed it.. etc, he took me totally out of his msn name and his bebo and everything, although everything seemed normal, i wondered what was going on in his head, anyway, about a fortnight later, he took a picture of me and him on his mobile, and when i went into his photo album to look at the photo, he had pictures of a girl id never seen before, in her underwear.. now this did bother me. i know its natural for guys to look, but thats a bit far.. i left it, to be honest i didnt want to hear the answer if i confronted him, incase i didnt like the truth.. but then after about another fortnight i stayed over at his house, but it didnt feel right, there was a strange atmosphere which i didnt like, he 'went for a shower' yet i heard him on the phone, giggling like a girl! before he even had chance to come out of the bathroom and lie, i got my stuff and i went home. the day after, i asked him about the phone call, he said he was singing, and then i asked him about the photos, he said a randomer sent him then in the train station, so i asked him why he didnt delete them, and he said to me 'well would you delete them if they were a big cock?' i went mad! told him to just change his profiles to single, it was over, id had enough. i then found out that he had been cheating on me for 3 months of our relationship with four different girls, but i didnt know wether to beilive it or not, i got told he was sending pictured of his self nakes to girls, meeting girls behind my back, and sleeping with other girls while he was suppose to be at work!! he denies EVERYTHING, he says hes in love with me, no one else means nothing... im his world, his first love, i know its a load of shit but im IN LOVE with him, ive fought for the past few weeks now, argueing with people, ive had two actual physical fights, ive fought with him, with my own friends who have turned against me, ive argued and bickered, and at the minute i just feel like total shit! im sick of fighting for him, im sick of trying to make things work, yet i cant see my self without him, i love him with all my heart, hes my everything and i cannot live without him?! i really dont know what to do anymore. my heads tellin me: 'leave this arsehole, hes a waste of space, you can do better, hes treating you like a fool' yet my hearts telling me: 'you love him, dont let him go, it'll be alrite in the end, you'll sort it, you sort everything' and i dont know which to follow! pleaee can someone help me?! i just needed to get that out i think, i cant open up to anymore anymore! any advice would be apprieciated, sorry if my question doesnt make sence xox
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Never believe this crap from a guy and never put up with it. I was in a realtionship for 3 years and I kept taking the loser back thinking he would change. He never did. He cheated on me with my 'so called friends' he lied to me, snuck around, slept with other girls... It was a nightmare and I let it happen cause I just knew I loved him.... Apparently it was quite the opposite of this. I just wanted the security because I believed I would always be alone. I was afraid of meeting people, I had lost all of my friends due to him and their lies. They had even lied to say I had been cheating not him. He could swear he loved me, but I caught him on the phone and in the act. I confronted all of the girls and got the story straight.
A
female
reader, ls933r  +, writes (14 November 2008):
I feel your pain. In my own honest opinion the first thing you have to do is think "if he really feels the way I feel for him why would he put me through this nightmare?". Cause that's what it is.. A nightmare. I went through a similar situation but there was no cheating involved. I just looked at the big picture that I loved him and I made him tell me if he was still happy with our relationship. The guy is gonna lie... Any guy that would repeatedly cheat on his girlfriend would lie to anyone for any reason. He's lied to those girls he hooked up with. He's lied to you 35752763 times. Hell he's probably lied to his own mom cuz you know she's asked how y'all are doing.. He knows he's being unfaithful. As long as women allow men to get away with cheating and lying their going to continuously do it. Same goes for women who cheat on their men. There is really no excuse. He has no excuse for putting you through the unbearable pain your going through. He has no remorse at all. Especially if the guy can talk to someone while you're in the same house as him.. Or does those obvious things like changing relationship status's & keeping vulgar pics of other women on his phone. He wanted to be caught. The more I think about thisthe more I hate him for you.
You don't need him dear. You seem like you're too good of a person to have to put up with this type of BS. I understand you love him, but he is not a good man for you. He is worthless. I suggest you tell him to go fly a kite.. Tell him you're done. Don't let him see you down. Go out & be strong, confident, and fearless... Go shopping get our hair done! LOL you've been with him for so long you're gonna need a fresh start. The less time you spend on worrying about him & his shit the quicker you'll be having a fabulous time and meet a new man!!!!
I hope this doesn't sound too ridiculous!...
Xxxxxx
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