A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been going out for 2 years now and managed to keep it as a secret from my parents. My 2 year older brother(29 almost 30) met him and he likes him. The other older brother of mine (31) has no idea as he lives abroad.However, my 29 year old brother was dating a single mother (28) and my parents knew about it but they insisted that he broke up with her immediately!!!They didnt want him to marry a woman and get a "ready made" kid. My family is financially strong and with a good social class. That makes them believe that us (the children) should get married with people of the same social class and financial status, or even better.Previously,when i was 23 i was dating another guy (32) and i managed to let them know of that relationship. They gave me the chance to go out with him, they met him too but they insisted on me to let him go as he is not the guy they hoped i will end up with.Anyway, back to my current relationship. My boyfriend comes from a middle class family, but very good people who love me as their own daughter. My boyfriend has a job but he is not earning a lot ion order to spend the month. I earn much more than he does and i support him as well. He knows that he has to et a better paying job, so he goes to college in order to get a degree and be able to get a better job giving him more money. I appreciate his efforts and shows that he is willing to do everything for me and to keep me happy.I love their son too very much! We even started to plan our future together...And he proves to me everyday that he is worth the try, worth my love and the time i spend for loving him. I have come to a point though where i can not lie to my parents any more. I do not have any more excuses to go out and spend my days with him. I feel that i want to let my parents know about this relationship. But i am so scared that they will insist on stop seeing him, but i just can't do it! I don't want to break up with him. My boyfriend is trying so hard to reach my "level" and become worthy for me and my parents standards. I love him so much, but i love my family too. I can't let them down, i respect them and want to keep them close to me. I don't want to turn them against me or break any relationships with them. I feel the exact same way for my boyfriend. I dont want to lose him....it's not that i wont find anyone else...it's just because i feel that we match and he is my other half! What can i do? How can i stop feeling guilty for lying to my parents and come clean to them, let them know of my relationship and the one who makes me happy even if he is not from the same social/financial status. And i don't care if he is 2 years younger than me. I am sure that when and if they ever meet him, they will love his character - i find many similarities in the way they think and look at things/situations. I am sure though that they will object and will try to make me break up with him because they want me to find someone from the same status or even better.What is your opinion? What am i suppose to do?P.S this summer we want to go on a trip together, but i have no excuses and we can not travel together. (my parents know all of my friends and can not tell them that i am going on a trip with any of my friends).... Help?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): At your age why do your parents have such control over your love life? You are not 15. You need to be able to make your own decisions and stand on your own. At 27 you should not be relying on your parents for anything other than moral support.
Sit them down, explain the situation- tell them that you're not seeking their approval, just their blessings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): I was in a relationship with a fantastic guy up til 2 weeks ago when his mother found out, she doesnt think I was good enough. He is heart broken with having to end things because of his mothers disapproval. he rings me daily but he isnt strong enough to stand up for himself.
you maybe from a different class but so what, its not up to your family who you should or shouldnt be with. You may earn more but as long as you feel 'better than him' then he is better without you. you dont have to agree with your family and you should stand up for what you want. Tell them and if they disagree then you disagree louder and stand your ground or you will find yourself turning into your parents and one day when you have children you will be dictating to them too.
life is short its about being happy, if he makes you happy then so be it.
mum and dad will come round, but they wont if you dont give them a chance!!!
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