A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have come to realize that I am becoming overly sensitive and emotional and its effecting my self confidence!I was not like this previously, ok I was always a little sensitive, but I need to toughen up now, as I am tired of being labelled as the sensitive guy!What can I do that when someone says something that hurts me or offends me to just let me brush it off, or when someone insults me i take it personally.I constantly give people the benefit of the doubt, which in turn makes it look like I am a softy and am becoming a door mat.I think before I talk and I am passive in nature as I think of others feelings first but then when its the other way round I am attacked!I am not a fan of drama and making situations dramatic and I avoid confrontation, BUT I think that it is now getting the better of me and putting a damper on my success. How can I become stronger and more tough!? in terms of people seeing that they cant take advantage of me cause I am the good guy??I like being happy and jolly and kind..but then that is mistaken for weakness and spineless!Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): Don't listen to the women above... they're women and they're goal is to continue to make you weaker.
I'm like you. There have always been things I've done on my own to build in mental discipline that can rival that of the strongest "tough guys" ... ... build up mental discipline in some sort of activity that you like. Then. PRETEND to be the baddest guy anyone has ever met, even though they know you well enough to know that you're a pretty sweet dude. When walking through a door and there's a girl coming behind you, hold it open for her with your fist and as she walks through say "See ... my fist is good for more than just punching!" Then grunt. GRUNTING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO PRACTICE. Need a good example? Watch any / all clint eastwood movies. There's more than one type of grunt / slow growl / moanishy noises you can make for all kinds of different situations.
Watch Dogs.
Get a DOG.
Seriously. You want to be tougher. Pay attention to dogs and play with 'em. They'll be rough with you and you can slap the tar out of them and they'll still come back loving you the next day. Of course, don't ABUSE them... but also be aware that rough play can look like abuse to a majority of women and softees out there.
Finally. Find a mentor that is scary as hell that's about 5-20 years older than you. Better yet. Get two or three or four. Don't tell them that you chose them to be your mentors, but be their wing man in the workplace, at school, etc. I've got about 10 dudes that I follow around at work (in a grungy old warehouse) ... these are guys that have their "tough act" down. Watch, listen, follow carefully.
Next.
Mentor a couple young dudes that are softees yourself after you've learned enough tricks from the old dogs. You'll be amazed at how fun it can be to scare the hell out of people that are actually exactly like you knowing that you'll be able to stick with them long enough so that they can really get to know you and see the truth: that you're very much like them.
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