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I'm shy, would working with children be alright for a job?

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Question - (2 May 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am a shy person. Would working with children be right for me ?. I am on Jobseeker's Allowance. My advisor at the Jobcentre has said that I need to do some voluntary work. She has put me forward for a voluntary job at a Youth Club where children between the ages of 8-19 go. There are lots of voluntary roles there. I am a shy person. Do you think this is the right kind of work for me?. I hope I wouldn't feel too nervous.

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2014):

malvern agony auntBeing a shy person myself I can completely understand how you feel. I would advise you to definitely go for this job because it will do you the world of good and probably 'bring you out of yourself'. When you have children around you making demands on you, asking for help, advice etc. you will surprise yourself on how well you manage. You will find that you will start to forget your shyness and just get on with the task in hand. It will be a great confidence booster for you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 May 2014):

Honeypie agony auntGo for it.

I'm not a shy person per se. Kids/young adults are not too hard to be around. It can be fun.

Try it.

And listen to Daisy. If these anxieties hold you back this bad, you NEED to talk to your GP/therapist.

Come on out of your shell.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2014):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntI have read this and your other post(s). While I fully sympathise with your shy nature and your nervousness and anxiety, the 'deal' with being on JSA is that you are actively looking for paid employment. Otherwise, you will risk losing that JSA.

You just HAVE to bite the bullet and do voluntary work for two reasons 1) your JSA might be stopped, and 2) you need to eventually to find work. Staying at home because you are shy and nervous is no good to anyone, least of all yourself. Voluntary work should be the springboard to you gaining the confidence to progress to paid employment.

If you are really as shy and nervous as this, you need to go and see you GP and ask for some therapy, e.g. cognitive behavioural therapy, so that you can go out and not just face life or endure it, but *enjoy* it without being so nervous.

Regarding the Youth Club - go for it, just go and try not to think about it too much beforehand. When you're there, fake confidence until you actually feel it ('fake it til you make it'). Maybe request to work in a role with the younger children if it helps and makes you feel less nervous.

What worries me about your situation is that your life is stagnating, and you are getting to the point where the job centre is (quite rightly, IMO) questioning whether you are serious about seeking work or just getting handouts. If you are not well enough to work because of your anxiety, then that's a different story and it needs to be addressed by talking to your GP and taking the necessary steps. Don't just accept a prescription for pills, request talking therapy.

Either way, you need to step out of your very limited comfort zone. Good luck, and maybe check out this CBT-based website:

http://www.llttf.com/

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntOP what is your work history? What have you done preciously and what work are you looking for?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014):

I'm 19 and have worked with kids for 4 years, it *can* turn a shy person into an outgoing one, but it helps if you're pretty comfortable with that kind of thing already.

Nerves come with most jobs for most people, getting out there is the only way to deal with them.

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