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female
,
anonymous
writes: Help! my twin sister has recently started going out with her first boyfriend. Before we have both been single and not had a relationship. This has got me down a lot as although I fancy a guy I am really shy and quiet and too scared to ask him out and looking at how happy she is I am scared. I am never going to get a boyfriend
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male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (19 December 2005):
 I agree with Irish but I will add that once I did try this. I knew this girl would never ever say no to me. So I practiced in the mirror what she would say over and over and over. I knew exactly what I was going to say as soon as she said NO, NO, NO. So I walked up and I said "I know that you don't want to but, if you wanted to then we could maybe sorta kinda go out if you want to but you don't have to" (I almost convinced her to say NO don't you think) when she said "I'd love to go out with you". Well that did it. I knew extactly the wrong thing to say. " Well I was just curious and that's cool cause we can just be friends" After 4 steps away from her I realized she said yes. This I was not ever going to be prepared for. Sometimes your mind writes it's own movie that isn't part of the script. In reality; just asking is really a matter of a simple yes or no and it has no bearing on your life of being you. Just love yourself and he will too. Good luck. Ed
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): Nearly everyone suffers from shyness to some degree and at some time in their life. For some, due to combinations of biology, environment, experience and inherited traits, shyness can cause a lot of trouble. Hun, you need to learn to be just comfortable about being yourself. It's my guess you are a lovely, nice young lady but perhaps, you may be comparing yourself way too much to your twin sister.
If she has a bit different personality. you cannot expect to be the same. You are you and just great the way you are. Give yourself time and don't be hard on yourself, hun. The temptation is always there to want to be someone else, someone popular, someone with loads of friends who everyone likes. But wanting to be someone else is only a pipedream -you are you, and wonderful for it. Therefore, you need to build your self-esteem by understanding who you are and what you are. By embracing yourself, being at ease in your own shoes, you will find that you will naturally become confident. Just give it time. It will come. Good luck, smile and be positive.
Hugs, Irish
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