A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a long distance relationship since December and everything was going great, we planned on meeting months ago but things began to change after some events in both of our lives. A month ago, my mother had been in the hospital for a week before passing and while I was feeling down about that my supportive boyfriend, at that time, was going through some issues himself. He had to move out of his home and also get a job so I'd be seeing him a lot less and this is when things kind of went downhill. Me having the low confidence that I had assumed the worst out of this situation as he became far too busy for me and would do things without telling me like for example moving and telling me after and even finding a job and not telling me what it was. I never asked and he isn't one to randomly talk about himself about things which isn't good in a long distance relationship because all you really have is communication and that's it. So we eventually got into an argument over the changes and I practically annoyed him over it till he stated not wanting to be in a relationship as he couldn't handle being emotional now. Currently he still spends time with me and shows signs of consideration and care, even stated that he loves me still yet there's a big change in interaction, the way he speaks to me it's closer to friendly silliness and rarely passionate which is a huge difference from the way we were from when my mother was sick and months before from when we first met. He could have easily gotten someone else the months that we talked for every waken moment and he is the type of guy who wouldn't waste his time if he didn't honestly care for it so I regret not trusting him recently. My question now is, do you think this is just a phase due to the changes in his life and we'll be normal again eventually? (I know it's hard to say because you don't know him but base if off what I've given you and just an honest opinion would help to make my heart at ease, negative or positive I just need to hear something cause I'm going in circles from all the possibilities. I'm scared, worried and sad to death of losing him.)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): If you two are still talking then you havn't lost him. EVEN if he found someone new which seems a little unlikely (from what i am heard so far, him being unemotionally available or just busy), you two can remain friends and sometimes we just rly need a friend...and it is better than just losing him.
I think the key problem...what stood out for me the MOST was the "long distance relationship". Many people can not handle this. Maybe you can but I don't think he can (at least not anymore)...and well I guess you can see that for yourself now. What seemed like he WAS suited for it but ofc add a job and having to move out, trust me, it changes a lot. His free time is cut, and dreams of meeting you a little shattered. Given the events going on, he can not deal with it, but a far worst choice is losing contact with someone so close so he has remained talking to you as with you have been doing as well.
There are certain things you shoudl research about online relationships. I myself have been in 3 (lol) and I can tell a great deal about it. One of the things I feel is that both should meet within a 6month time frame at least. Maybe the progressing time has caused his love for you to dwindle a little...I don't know, I can only assume for him. But I don't know him. If you would like, search out article section for long distance tips or maybe even google it.
Good Luck dear, hope things work out soon.
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