A
female
age
30-35,
*inybubble
writes:I just came from a very bad case of unrequited love. I've been trying to get over the guy for almost two years.That guy was also the first guy I ever liked and loved so it's been two difficult years of emotional pain and ugly crying. But just five days ago, I went out with a male friend and we ate lunch. It wasn't a date but when I went home that day, I found myself thinking about him and fantasizing about him. I had fun that day and he was just like his old funny self. I think I'm starting to like him. I wait for him to go online on Facebook and wish he would chat me up but unfortunately, he hasn't done that yet or even texted since we went out. Also, he calls me "friend". He also used to like hot girls but he mentioned when we went out that ever since his ex cheated on him, he's now just looking for a girl who's genuinely kind and would not hurt him. This somehow gave me an idea that maybe I had a chance. But because of my past experience on unrequited love, I promised myself to never fall for anyone who will not love me back. Because he calls me "friend" and we paid for our own food that day, are these signs that I am already in the friendzone even before trying? Should I even bother to give hints that I like him? Because I'm really scared to get hurt again. So please tell me, if you think I should just stop thinking about this madness.
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female
reader, tinybubble +, writes (18 September 2014):
tinybubble is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh no, I was referring to two different guys :)
A
female
reader, jstar92  +, writes (18 September 2014):
 It's very difficult when it's a friend but I have a question, are you over your ex yet? I'm not sure you are.I think that at times of pain like this, we cling on to small glimmers of kindness and intimacy (like lunch with a friend or deep conversations) and we start searching desperately for things that might not be there, to ease the pain. Not to say that you don't have a chance with him, you never know until you try. It doesn't seem like he is making the moves on you but maybe he just doesn't have any clue about your feelings for him.I would give it a little more time though before you make any moves and be careful if you do not to overwhelm him - keeping your friendship is more important. We're all scared to be hurt again, but that's the risk we take to have the chance to be with someone who can make us feel so amazing.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 September 2014):
 It's taking you two years because you are hanging on to him and think that because you like him you can't let him go. You have become a slave for your feelings. He can sense that he likes you. Maybe he enjoys the attention you give him and you give him confidence to go back to the dating market but he's calling you friend. Yes you are in the friendzone. Never put yourself in a weak position where you have to earn love and hope for a chance. Also any girl can be hot with cosmetic skills and the right kind of fashion. We may not be able to control who we crush on, but it's important that we keep in touch with reality and not take rejections personally.
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