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female
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*atprincssfrmva
writes: This is something that had been bothering me for so long....I grew up around my male cousins and nostly that's all i knew was boys because that's all i had been around. Well i guess i was a very attractive little girl because everytime i was around any of my male cousins they tried to make a move on me. I was young maybe around 5 or 6 and my cousin (call him Devon) was 7 and he used to come over my house all of the time because his sister babysat me and my other sisters. I don't know who exposed him to this but he tried to have sex with me.....and keep in mind i was only 5 or 6 so i didn't know anything about it, and i thought it was right. Well, his sister came into the room before we did anything and said that it was wrong and that she was going to tell my parents when they got back, but she didn't. A little while after that they moved away to another state, meaning i don't see them that much at all.Well, he came back for the summer when i was about 13, and by that time i knew more about sex, and obviously he did too. He came over with my cousins because their mother was watching us while my mom was at work. Well, i thought maybe he forgot about what had happened, but he tried to touch me and saying i had a big butt and asked me if i remember what happened when we were younger.I was laying on my bed and he laid beside me, i didn't mind because i had no chairs in my room, but then he kept making comments and trying to touch me. That day he asked to spend the night over my house with my cousin. Then he was wearing a speedo to sleep in, and he came in my room, and was like come on, i brought a condom, then he got on my bed and opened his legs and tried to pull me on top of him. I told him no, and he continued throught the duration of the summer to have sex with me, i havent seen him in 3 years, and i'm happy, but this isnt the only cousin that did this to me, its maybe 20 somethings more of them.How do i recover from this torture, now its hard for me to trusts boys and i didn't have a boyfriend until i was 15 years old, and he asked me to have sex with him and i broke up with him, because i'm scared by the thought of it, i'm afraid to be touched by boys, and don't know how to react to it.Please help me with this problem.Thanks.
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at work, broke up, condom, cousin, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lovedangel +, writes (13 December 2005):
Dear Female Reader,
I think you need to seek some counsiling. I hope you don't blame yourself for what happened. It is not your fault. Telling your story is a step in the right direction to recovery. It will be hard at first, but as time goes on yo will be able to tell your story and start the healing process inside. You may experience flashbacks and there may be things that are triggers to what happened and it will be hard to work through them. But be patient. I had the same problem of trusting boys after I was molested for years. I got lucky and found a man who is patient and understanding. Some day you will find a man whom you can trust and whom you can live a happy life with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): seriously, you need therapy. its a traumatic thing that happened, and it is affecting your life, and ability to have relationships with guys, wether intimate or friendships from the sound of it. while some people don't need therapy, when it affects your life like this, it's definetly something you need.
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A
female
reader, whatever +, writes (4 November 2005):
Your cousins were very aggressive and odd. I can understand why you're so emotionally traumatized and I think it's very right for you to be careful around future boyfriends, but that's just how every girl should be. Don't be completely put off by sex. I can't say I believe you'll ever fully forget or recover from what happened to you but I think it is plain to see you have become stronger out of your experiences, rather than weaker: you said no to that guy and you were just 15. There are so many other girls who would have felt scared and pressurized and ended up giving in. I would highly recommend you talk to a professional about this; I'd say there's a lot more you'd like to say than you can fit into one page.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 November 2005):
 You need to have counseling to help you sort this all out and get it out of your system. Look for the social services available in your area and see if they can hook you up with a counselor. You'll be fine with a little help from an expert. Good luck!
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