A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone and Happy New Year. I am going thru a really hard time right now and really need some advice. I have my medical finals next month (to become a doctor) and I can't concentrate because of it. I knew this guy for about 3 years on-off (as friends) before he approached me last year telling me he liked me and wanted to be with me with a view to marriage. This is going to sound really nasty.. but I really found him hideous to look at to begin with (imagine a cross between Shrek and Golam from Lord of the Rings.. thats what he looked like!). It took me a while to not be physically repulsed by him.. but eventually I fell hard for him cos he did have lovely heart. Things were going really well, until we got families involved, and I found out he was a total Mummy's boy. We tried to break things off after a while cos things werent working out due to family issues, (he wanted me to move in with his family after marriage but there was no way in hell I could do that! His mum was too much of a psycho) but we kept getting back together, cos we really loved eachother. I really tried everything to make things work, but whenever we would make a decision or a compromise for the future, his mum would brainwash him and he would come back the next day telling me that he didn't want to compromise anymore. In Novemeber, his evil mother (who loves to control his every move even though he is 30yrs old!!) told me that if I don't agree to marry him by a certain date she would 'Force' him to get married to someone else! I found out the psycho mum had been reading our personal texts, emails and had been listening in on our phonecalls throughout our relationship. Me and the mum had a massive showdown, and he didn't even stick up for me.. he just took her side. She always hated me, cos she wanted him to be with someone who would be a housewife rather than me.. (a doctor). So, he actually listened to his mum, and got enagaged 2 weeks later and is due to get married next month! 1 week before my finals! I am soooo totally hurt that he was able to just forget me so easily and agree to marrying someone else! (arranged marriage)I am just so upset, cos I keep imagining him really happy with another girl, while he has left me here in the dumps! I can't stop thinking about it, and I am so scared I am going to jeopardise my exams because of it.. Any advice? Please?! Thanks so much for reading x x x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 January 2008):
 Hi,
Firstly.... Happy New Year,
Secondly, You sound like a fantastic person to have put up with the situation as long as you did. But like you say, he is a Mummy's boy, who will likely stay that way.
You have so much ahead off you to look forward to, cant you see that.
As for him being Happy with another girl, do you honestly think that will happen with constant interferance from his mother.
You are definately better off without this man. And given time and when you meet the man of your dreams, your ex will turn back into shrek, and you will wonder what you was ever thinking.
I know its hard for you, but try hard to stay focused on your future. Not on the past.
Good luck honey XXXX
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