A
female
age
36-40,
*Lindy87
writes:So I think I'm scared of commitment. I am usually attracted to guys who I think or know have some reason for not wanting a relationship. For instance, I usually go for players, guys who I know just want to be single or like other girls. This has led me to have a lot of meaningless sexual flings. But whenever a decent guy likes me and wants an actual relationship with me, I get freaked out. I get scared. I think this is because I know that a relationship with those guys are actually possible. My parents weren't a great example of love for me and I think thats where my fears are coming from. A few days ago I went on a date with this wonderful guy. On paper everything seems great, and he treated me like a princess. He made it clear that he wants to get to know me more. I know he's more of a relationship guy more than a player. I agreed to see him again tonight. I'm looking forward to it yet part of me is freaked out and scared about getting involved with a guy who actually likes me. Why do you think this is? And how to I overcome this? If I don't I'll end up with an asshole because I'm usually attracted to them. I want to be able to get giddy over a guy who treats me like a queen instead of a guy who treats me like a second choice. Please help. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Well honey the answer, although it may not be the answer you wanna hear, is that its time to grow up. The fact that you feel what youre feeling IS because youre growing up. Your heart wants to give up the players, your mind wants to still play the field. You know the old expression "go with your heart" right? So, go with your heart. Your heart is a love organ. It wants to love and be loved. Youre in your twenties. Give up the playas. Look at it as fun memories and be grateful you never got raped or an std. Think about it. Hes boppin around with other girls you dont know where hes been. Hopefully you used protection for the most part. But really its time to settle.
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