A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have had a on and off relationship for the last while. It seems like forever since I've had these feelings for him. It feels like he is all I know. I feel as if without him, I will never be happy again and I hate feeling like this.When we break up, I have learned not to react because it usually does not last long. But we broke up today, what if this times for good?Will he move on like I never meant anything? After everything we've been through? Will he miss me everyday like I will miss him? Will he think about me?(Guys: Tell me how you really feel after a break up, when you put a brave face on and act like its all okay)So many questions are running through my head. I know I should let go, I need to be strong and leave him behind for good.But I'm scared he will hook up with a bunch of girls, and all my friends will tell me all these stories, since we have the same circle of friends.and I will sit here and be lonely, not forever I'm sure, but while he is out there acting like I never meant anything to him. I will sit here and feel sorry for myself.I think thats the main reason why I stay with him, because I want him and I dont at the same time, but my worst fear is him wanting someone else and someone else wanting him back. I don't think I will ever accept this.How do I deal with this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Oh sweetie. I have had one of these problems, and you know what I think it is. They hook up with girls so that we feel like that and so he doesn't have to deal with the same feelings we do. (I have great sourses!) It helps to do something drastic after you break it off. I cut my hair for example. I went from down to my butt to shoulder lenght and I was happier. Also try talking to new people and new guys. I know you will still have feelings for him, I know I did. Now though? I'm happy and I have fun and meeting new people made him really realize what he lost and now were friends, so don't think it's gunna hold you back ok? have fun with it! Have the time of your life!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Hmm I think I understand what you are trying to say. But babe, if the fear of him being with another is the main reason then that is not very healthy at all. There are other guys out there...I know that you know that already but I feel like I should tell you it anyway.
I think guys feel anything after breaking up. What I mean is that it depends on the break up. Was it a bad break up or good one? I had the love of my life dumping me without any real reason and that left me to constantly think about her and the past. Another gf I used to have, really got on my nerves so much I was happy to get away from her, and it was very rare of me thinking of her. My brave face would come with my 1st instance, because she wanted to be friends and I didn't want to lose her so I agreed.
If you say you want to "deal with this", it means you will have to face reality at one point of experience loneliness...(if it is that he is gone for good). I would say to you to reject his offer if he came back to you but honestly babe I don't think you will refuse him. Is he really done for good? I dunno that, and with an on and off relationship you guys have, I'm sure he doesn't know yet.
Well good luck to you, if there's anything you'd like to explain do tell
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