A
female
age
36-40,
*ambuca Queen
writes: K, well me and my guy have been dating 11 months next week. We work together and we were friends before we dated. But since roughly March, he has become depressed. He has been depressed before and he got out of it. Im scared he may be falling out of love with me. Ive been told, and also read on here, that some people whom are depressed see others as being more important and can be arseholes to their loved ones. Like at work, he will be friendly and polite to co-workers, but isnt as chatty with me there. He doesnt avoid me at work, he just chats to me when he wants to. Which has gotten alot less lately.Ive been told its the depression doing this to his behaviour. Before he was depressed (round March time) he wouldnt leave me alone at work. Now he just gets on with his job and chats more to co-workers.I do hope this is the depressiomn. We havent been intimate since start of June, been told depression has a massive affect on peoples sex drive. I thought I was ugly and unattractive. At one point I thought he as getting it elsewhere. But people have confirmed depression does kinda kill a sex life.Sorry for the long rant guys, but advice would be mega helpful to me. Thank you.[mod note: posted 2 questions and the other is- Why is he making me jealous on purpose?]
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at work, co-worker, depressed, jealous, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question Share |
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): Depression is a disease. If he's suffering from it, he needs help. Left untreated it can worsen, even leading to suicide. You need more help than I can give you here. There are different kinds of depression. One is situational, in other words a certain situation, such as death of a loved one, can cause depression. Situational depression usually heals itself as soon as the situation goes away, for instance, as the person gets used to the loved one's passing and begins to fill time with pleasurable activites. But there is also a chemical depression. It can be caused by drugs, alcohol, alcoholism, and the body's chemicals becoming unbalanced for various reasons. You should encourage anyone suffering from depression to seek counseling or medical help, perhaps starting with a physical exam by a medical dr. who can evaluate the person's depression. There are wonderful medicines to treat depression now. No one has to suffer. But in order to get well, the depressed person must seek help. Good luck and don't allow yourself to get depressed over misplaced guilt! You're not causing his depression. You can't heal it. But you can let him know what he should do to help himself, so do it.
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