A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my ex and i were in a relationship for almost 3 years and when i got pregnant (on birth control, a true accident) he left me. during my pregnancy he started dating another woman. to me this is very disrespectful as at the time i needed his support or at least his friendship and work things out as parents and not a couple anymore. he moved and changed his number and disappeared from my life, i still contacted him with updates on the pregnancy and when i emailed him telling him my son was born he just called to say "congrats". now he sent his friends telling me he is sad and wants to see the baby and that i don't let him. i live in a different country and i have invited him numerous times but he has always backed off and acted uninterested. he never asks for his son or supports me financially and recently told me he's getting married (my son is only 3 months old i think its too soon)i'm carrying alot of resentment. i dont love him anymore but i loved him and believed in him. when i got pregnant, by no means did i expect that to fix our issues but i was always willing to work it out... i feel he was unfair and selfish to me and my son because i firmly believe in a standard mom dad kid family, not a dad that visits on weekends but has some other family. i asked him to sign off his parental rights and he was happy to do so, his fiance pressured him i guess.... after he accepted to doing this i can't stop thinking about my bad judgement with this man. i wish things were different, i cant stop feeling lonely and feeling bad for my son who wont have a real father. and his dad never cared for either of us and is moving on to have a family so quick... life's unfair :( i just need some insight on why this happens or similar experiences or advice. i'm working, supporting me and my son and going to college and loving my son, but these feelings won't go away!!!
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male
reader, Nicoya_415 +, writes (22 January 2011):
Well, even if he is your child's father, he obviously wants no part in the child's life... move on and look for someone who will love you and your son, and treat the both of you right!
A
female
reader, Nonamus +, writes (22 January 2011):
My daughter has no contact with her father. She tried once when she was i her teens; he let her down. She is 30 now and he tried to friend her on fb. She was insulted and ignored him. She told me that I was both mom and dad for her plus my parents were close to her. She is happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, he can sign off his parental rights but by law he still has to pay child support for his biological son. sadly he lives in central america and i live in usa. he is not a us citizen and his family is very, very wealthy and can pay off any lawyer in that corrupt country. i'm barely making ends meet, but my son and i have everything we need. my ex is not worth my time. he is a lier, cheater, manipulator, 27 years old with no career and still living with his parents. he started talking to this woman about 2 weeks after i told him i was pregnant, it started as an online thing behind my back and then i found out they were sleeping together because this girl posted it on her twitter (how stupid) along with many pictures of them on dates and hanging out (needs attention??) now i just avoid them altogether
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): You are not alone, lots of women have been through this, me included. It is all still very raw, what with looking after you son, working and college I am sure you are exhausted, which isn't helping things. Is there anyone that could give you a little time for yourself?
Try and let go of the negative feelings for you son's father, these really won't be good for you or your son, you don't know if in the future they will have some sort of father son relationship, and you don't want him feel bad if that happens.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 He certainly rushed into another life very very quickly didnt he. He may have been seeing someone else whilst being in the relationship with you. I didnt know that you could 'sign off your parental rights',, i should look in to that if i were you and make him face up to supporting his child. I'm sure that you will be strong enough to bring your child up and support him and you may have to put this down to experience. If you can't get him to help with the finances then just forget him anyway, you will have a better life without him because no one wants to be bothered with fathers who turn their backs on their responsibilites.
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