A
female
age
41-50,
*odies1234
writes:my dad is an alcholic. he has just been relsed from hospital after seven months after he suffered multiple organ failure and very nearly didn;t pull thru. whilste this was happening his home was being reprossessd and all his money was gone (he had inverited £210,000 2 years previously)anywa he finally pull threw and is now is sheltered accomadation in not a very nice area of town, he has never really been a father to me and has caused me a lot of pain through out my life, but now i am responsible for him and I am scared that i will go to see him snd find him dead. my head can't process everything that is going on with all the conflicting emotions, i am responsible for a demanding 60 old alcoholic who has nevr been there for me and can barely renenber ny son name. i can't sleep wth worry at the moment i am waiting for a sleeping tablet to kick in so i can go to bed,hence why my spelling is so bad. i just wondered if anyone had been thru anything similar and could help?
View related questions:
alcoholic, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): OK, the title told me all I needed to know...
For your own sake (and his as well) please seek out an Al-anon meeting in your area and find a woman sponsor that can get you started.
Those of us who have an alcoholic parent have found massive relief and clarity in this organization, and skills that allow us to have happy lives while having an active alcoholic in our lives. The two can co-exist, (sounds odd, trust me on this one)- and the ladies in the Al-anon crowd can walk you through the first few weeks. Expect a lot of laughter in the meetings (we laugh a lot, which DIDN'T happen in my life before I found these folks)- tears too (less tears than laughter though), and some clarity on what I am responsible for (me) and what I'm not (everything else). I learned how to be in people's lives w/o taking on their responsibilities, and how not to live in fear of the future.
There are days when I have NO Idea how I would have made it w/o these folks, and I've never left a meeting feeling worse than when I got there, and there are days that before the meeting life is so good, I'd tell you it can't get better!
Your Dad sounds like he's going down the same path that many do... there's no set pattern, but the stories are all similar. He appears to have avoided some of the tragedies (prison, killing someone in a blackout, living on the streets).
So, to answer your question... YES, thousands have walked your journey before you, and thousands are in a program that helps them by helping others... if you reach out your hand they will grab it, for in helping you, they help themselves recover. It works, it's free, and odds are good that there is a meeting with in 10 min's of your home, assuming you live in an urban area or suburb. I could have walked to the one by my house it was so close.
Make one call, and they will do the rest... think of it as a rescue boat the size of the QE2 50' away in a fog. You can't see it, but it's right there...
Best Wishes- and remember, you didn't cause it, you can't cure it & you can't control it.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 I believe you are looking for is some kind of closure should he pass on since you didn't have a good relationship earlier in life. Though you should not blame yourself for the shape he is in. You've done more than some kids would in the same situation. Go visit him. Hopefully he will appreciate what you're doing and it will give you a chance to connect for however long he is on this earth. This will prepare you better, for his death when the day comes. I wish you the best.
...............................
|
