A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with benefits with my ex for maybe two months now. He used to be one of my best friends, we dated for 7 months. After we broke up he went out with my best friend. Both of them kept this from me till it blew up in their faces when i found out. He claims he really loved her, while she just used him. Needless to say we are no longer good friends.The thing with my ex is, after all of this he tried really hard to be my friend again, saying how stupid he was for ruining everything. The whole fwb arrangement came as a surprise, but it was my idea as at the time i was having fun being single and being able to spend time and see other guys. Then, my ex started talking about being together again, as in more in an emotional sense, not the physical. I said no, as i really wasnt looking for that type of relationship and if i was, definitely not with him.It has been about a month or two now since he asked me, and recently he just asked me again. He had been seeing another girl while i was hanging out with other guys from our fwb arrangement, and when she asked to be with him he had said no because he had no feelings for her. He claims that he has them for me, and that he wants to be with me and will wait until i am ready to be with him again if he has to. But within the next few days he started saying how bad he felt, because he doesnt deserve me after what he did to me with my ex best friend and how he could never expect me to trust him again. He went on saying that he really did not want to ruin our friendship as we have become really close now and he makes all the effort to speak to me and see me everyday. In some ways i guess i wouldnt mind being in a relationship, but the thing is i dont know if i should give him a second chance, like if hes telling me the truth or hes just using his bullshit again to be with someone. Then again, he had a chance to be with another girl and he chose not to.Advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bootyboot  +, writes (9 March 2009):
first of all, he's got two strikes against him: 1) he broke up with you, and 2) he dated your best friend. Now that is a no-no, and I would be so furious with this guy that I would never talk to him again. He ruined two relationships for you!
Now, he is now coming back saying ooh, he wants to get back with you etc, and then all of a sudden he says that you are too good for him (he's right there) and that he doesn't want to ruin the friendship...that is very telling, as in, he changed his mind again and doesn't want to be with you. If you actually get with him again, you will be wondering when he is going to break up with you, drop you like an old shoe and move onto another friend. He is a wishy washy type, and trust me honey, stay away from those guys, they only mess with your head.
This guy is trouble. It is not worth it, move on and forget this loser.
Sorry if this was harsh, but tough love can be the best remedy!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): Why did you break up in the first place?
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