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female
,
anonymous
writes: Ive known this guy for almost 7 years now, about 3 years ago we noticed an attraction towards each other but I never acted on it because at the time I had a boyfriend. Well about a month ago he had rented an apt in the house of a close relative of mine. The attraction is still there even after all the years that have passed, we've kissed on occasions since he's moved in. This past weekend a little more than kissing went on. But I had stopped in the middle because my conscience took the best of me. I'm not the type of girl who gives it up easily and didnt want him to think that way about me. He said everything was okay but I still cant stop thinking about whether things are okay with us or not. I'm really really interested and attracted to this guy but can't help to think that he might just be using me to get his jollies off.. part of me thinking this has to do with what guys have done to me in the past. I know its unfair to make the guys pay for what was done in the past so I really want to speak to him about what happened over the weekend but I just can't bring out the words... can anyone please give me advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2007): You shouldn't judge this guy with your past hurts. You should give him the benefit of the doubt. And by how you described him and he is not pressuring you to have sex with you. I think that he is not going to be using you for getting his jollies off!!
Don't rush into any thing that will you will regret the rest if your life! I think that by talking to him will have good results! Keep the line of communication open, and talk to him!!
A
female
reader, trueheartconfused  +, writes (2 May 2007):
A nice girl like you deserves a good guy, but in the mean time it is simply not fair to make him pay for what other men had done to you in the past . You've known this guy for many years now, you must've known an aweful lot about each other, I would say judging by the time of you knowing each other , your relationship has a really good chance of developing into something meaningful. The fact that after so many years , you are still together , maybe this is just something meant to be.
I would hold the speach though, you don't want him to think you are easy , but in the mean time you don't want to give him the impression that you are not interested and push him away either.From your reaction he's probably knew you are not that kind of girl, it's really not necessay to tell him
anything.
Just be who you are , a nice girl , occasional kissing and cuddling shouldn't hurt if you also like this guy , but if things go too far too fast, tell him politely that you want to save yourself for marriage, if he really loves you , he would wait.
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A
female
reader, briegeann  +, writes (2 May 2007):
personally i think you have it all worked out in you head,you just need to pluck up the courage and go for it speak to him,you have nothing to loose .just keep thinking how clear your head will be after you do so,just stay the 3 cs cool calm and collective.
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